Mamma Mia! P&P style!
by Cheep FIsh Baby
Summary: COMPLETELY SATIRE! I got the idea when reading while having some music turned on. A musical retelling of Pride and Prejudice, in the style of Mamma Mia - meaning, the characters break out into ABBA songs throughout.  All music lyrics belong to ABBA .
1. Dancing Queen

**Mrs. Bennet**: [enters her daughters bedroom, where all the girls are getting dressed up]. Come on girls, up you go. Be careful to look your best tonight. You want to make a good impression.

**Kitty: **Oh mother, I don't think any man shall ever notice me.

**Lydia: **Well, they shall all notice _me_!

**Mrs. Bennet: **That's the spirit, Lydia. Listen to her – Jane, Lizzy, Mary. Kitty. You know if you do not get a good husband we shall lose all we have. And heaven knows your father isn't doing anything to help in that! With no proper dowries, it all depends on your charms to attract wealthy young men.

**Lizzy: **It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man, in possession of a large fortune, must be in want of a wife.

**Mrs. Bennet: **Precisely. So be charming at this ball, girls. Be more than charming. Be, be queens! [SINGING]

_You can dance [points to Jane], you can jive [to Elizabeth], having the time of your life [to Mary]  
See that gir[to Kitty], watch that scene [to Lydia], dig in the dancing queen._

_[the girls go back to getting dressed, as Mrs. Bennet continues]_

_Friday night and the lights are low  
Looking out for the place to go  
Where they play the right music, getting in the swing  
You come in to look for a king  
Anybody could be that guy  
Night is young and the music's high  
With a bit of rock music, everything is fine  
You're in the mood for a dance  
And when you get the chance..._

_[Still in their petticoats, the girls gather around Mrs. Bennet and sway to the music with their hands in the air]_

_You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen  
Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine  
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life  
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen_

[from offstage]

**Mr. Bennet: **Would you girls keep it down! I am trying to read!

**Mrs. Bennet: **Ah, yes girls, you have dawdled quite enough. All this singing is agitating my poor nerves. Hurry up.


	2. Mamma Mia

[Next scene: at the Netherfield Assembly Hall]

**Charlotte: **Lizzy, Jane, I'm so happy to see you. There is he. The famous Mr. Bingley. Five thousand pounds a year!

**Lizzy: **You're starting to sound like my mother…

**Jane: **My – he's is quite handsome.

**Lizzy: **And who is the other gentleman standing beside him. Quite handsome too, I suppose, though rather haughty looking.

**Charlotte: **That's his friend, Mr. Darcy. He's even richer than Bingley. He has ten thousand a year! He hasn't spoken or danced with anyone all evening, though.

**Lizzy: **Probably finds country life beneath him. We can hardly expect to charm such great men. Who needs them? All men cause is heart break.

**Charlotte: **Right you are, but still, they _are _handsome.

**Jane: **Quite handsome indeed.

[the musicians start playing music for the next dance. The three girls link their arms as the men go about the room leading women to the dance floor]

**Lizzy **[singing to the dance music] _I've been cheated by you since I don't know when._

**Charlotte: **_So I made up my mind it must come to an end._

**Jane: **[staring at Bingley] _Look at me now, will I ever learn?_

**Lizzy: **_I don't know how, but I suddenly lose control._

**Charlotte: **_There's a fire within my soul._

**Jane: **[sees Bingley staring back at her] _Just one look and I can hear a bell ring._

**Charlotte + Lizzy: **_One more look and I forget everything, o-o-o-oh._

[Bingley comes, offers his hand to Jane, who lets go of Lizzy and Charlotte and goes to the dance floor with him]

**Jane: **[holding Mr. Bingley's hand getting ready to dance]  
_Mamma mia, here I go again  
My my, how can I resist you?  
Mamma mia, does it show again?  
My my, just how much I've missed you_

**Charlotte + Lizzy: **[Waving and teasing Jane from the side of the dance floor]

_Yes, I've been brokenhearted  
Blue since the day we parted  
Why, why did I ever let you go?  
Mamma mia, now I really know,  
My my, I could never let you go._

[the song ends and the partygoers applaud. Lizzy goes to sit down, and, nearby, Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley talk]

**Bingley: **Oh, you must dance, Darcy!

**Darcy: **I certainly shall not. You know how I detest it, unless I am particularly acquainted with my partner. At such an assembly as this, it would be insupportable. Your sisters are engaged, and there is not another woman in the room whom it would not be a punishment to me to stand up with.

**Bingley: **There are many lovely young ladies here tonight.

**Darcy: **_You_ are dancing with the only handsome girl in the room.

**Bingley: **Yes, she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. But what about her sister? She's sitting down just over there, and she's quite good looking.

**Darcy**: Which do you mean? Her? She is tolerable; but not handsome enough to tempt _me_; and I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men. You had better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles, for you are wasting your time with me.

[the music starts playing again and Lizzy stands up and wanders away]

**Lizzy: **[angrily] _  
__I've been angry and sad about things that you do  
I can't count all the times that I've told you we're through  
And when you go, when you slam the door  
I think you know that you won't be away too long  
You know that I'm not that strong._

[sarcastically] _Just one look and I can hear a bell ring  
One more look and I forget everything, w-o-o-o-oh _[crosses her arms and turns her back on Darcy]

**Jane: **[dancing with Bingley again]  
_Mamma mia, here I go again  
My my, how can I resist you?  
Mamma mia, does it show again?  
My my, just how much I've missed you_

**Lizzy: **[heading sadly back to Charlotte]

_Yes, I've been brokenhearted  
Blue since the day we parted  
Why, why did I ever let you go?_

**Charlotte: **[playfully trying to cheer up Lizzy]

_Mamma mia, even if I say  
[imitating Darcy]Bye bye, leave me now or never  
mamma mia, it's a game we play  
Bye bye doesn't mean forever [winks]_

[Lizzy laughs. Jane finishes her dance and runs back to her sister and friend]

**All three: **_Mamma mia, here I go again  
My my, how can I resist you?  
Mamma mia, does it show again?  
My my, just how much I've missed you  
Yes, I've been brokenhearted  
Blue since the day we parted  
Why, why did I ever let you go  
Mamma mia, now I really know  
My my, I could never let you go [the three links arms again and laugh]_


	3. Take A Chance On Me

[Next scene: at a party in Lucas Lodge]

**Lizzy: **Mr. Bingley sure has taken a liking to my sister, hasn't he?

**Charlotte: **Perhaps, Lizzy, perhaps. But she is not doing enough to encourage it. Look at them. She acts so coldly, cordially. There's no affection.

**Lizzy**: She cares for me dearly. She's told me so. She's just very reserved around men.

**Charlotte: **Well that's foolish. Eventually Mr. Bingley will lose interest if she does not reciprocate. If you want to get a husband, you should act more in love with him than you are, not less.

[Mr. Darcy approaches them]

**Mr. Darcy: **Do not you feel a great inclination, Miss Bennet, to seize such an opportunity of dancing a reel?__[Lizzy says nothing.] I request to be allowed the honour of your hand.

**Lizzy: **Yes sir, I heard you the first time. I just wasn't sure what to answer. I can assure you I have no intention of dancing tonight, and hope you don't think I walked this way in order to look for a partner. As for why you asked me, I can only assume you hoped I'd say yes, so you could have the pleasure of despising my taste. But I always try to triumph such schemes of premeditated contempt, so I tell you no. Now despise me if you dare.

**Mr. Darcy**: Indeed I do not dare.

[Lizzy glances at Charlotte and giggles as the two walk away]

[Miss Bingley approaches]

**Miss Bingley:** I bet I know what you are thinking about.

**Mr. Darcy: **I should imagine not.

**Miss Bingley**: You're thinking how boring it would be to have to go to balls like this all the time. I can't wait to hear your strictures on these common country folk.

**Mr. Darcy: **Your conjecture is totally wrong, I assure you. My mind was more agreeably engaged. I have been meditating on the very great pleasure which a pair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty woman can bestow.

**Miss Bingley**: Ooh [giggles] And who's eyes are these?

**Mr. Darcy: **Miss Elizabeth Bennet. [Darcy walks away]

**Mr. Darcy: **[staring at Elizabeth from across the room. singing – to himself] _If you change your mind, I'm the first in line  
Honey I'm still free  
Take a chance on me  
If you need me, let me know, gonna be around  
If you've got no place to go, if you're feeling down  
If you're all alone when the pretty birds have flown  
Honey I'm still free  
Take a chance on me  
Gonna do my very best and it ain't no lie  
If you put me to the test, if you let me try  
_

_Take a chance on me  
(that's all I ask of you honey)  
Take a chance on me_

**Mr. Bingley: **[as Jane walks away from him] _We can go dancing, we can go walking, as long as we're together  
Listen to some music, maybe just talking, get to know you better  
'cos you know I've got  
So much that I wanna do, when I dream I'm alone with you  
It's magic  
You want me to leave it there, afraid of a love affair  
But I think you know  
That I can't let go_

**Miss Bingley**:  
_If you change your mind, I'm the first in line  
Honey I'm still free  
Take a chance on me  
If you need me, let me know, gonna be around  
If you've got no place to go, if you're feeling down  
If you're all alone when the pretty birds have flown  
Honey I'm still free  
Take a chance on me  
Gonna do my very best and it ain't no lie  
If you put me to the test, if you let me try_

Take a chance on me  
(come on, give me a break will you? )  
Take a chance on me

[Next scene: The Bennet girls are walking through the village of Meryton]

**Lydia: **I'm so happy the militia has camped so near to Longbourn! Oh, look at all these handsome young soldiers!

**Kitty: **It's like a dream!

**Lydia: **Oh look, soldiers! We've met them before!

[a group of redcoats approach them]

**Lydia: **Lizzy, Jane – this is Capt. Carter, Mr. Chamberlayne, Mr. Denny, Col. Forster, Mr. Pratt, and, oh, who's this?

**Wickham: **Good evening, ladies. I'm Mr. Wickham. And it's a pleasure to make all your acquaintances.

[He shakes their hands. Lizzy smiles and turns away nervously as he reaches her]

**Lizzy: **And it is a great pleasure to meet you. I do hope we'll be seeing more of you. Perhaps at the ball?

**Wickham: **So long as you are there.

[enter Mr. Darcy and Bingley, on horseback]

**Bingley: **Misses Bennets, what a lovely coincidence. How do you do?

**[**Mr. Darcy and Wickham see each other and exchange shocked, angry looks. Mr. Darcy rides on ahead]

**Bingley: **I guess I must be going. Goodbye.

**Wickham: **Has Mr. Darcy been in Meryton long?

**Lizzy: **For some time. Is there a problem?

**Wickham: **I do not care for him. He has used me most infamously. He cheated me out of my living. My father was his father's steward. He swore to his father he would provide me, his childhood companion, with a parish. He denied it to me, out of jealousy, and now I have no money and must work in the army to survive.

**Lizzy: **Oh, I shall hate Mr. Darcy forever!

**Jane: **[still staring where Mr. Bingley rode off to]  
_Oh you can take your time baby, I'm in no hurry, know I'm gonna get you  
You don't wanna hurt me, baby don't worry, I ain't gonna let you  
Let me tell you now  
My love is strong enough to last when things are rough  
It's magic  
You say that I waste my time but I can't get you off my mind  
No I can't let go  
'cos I love you so_

**Lizzy**: [following Mr. Wickham down the road]

_If you change your mind, I'm the first in line  
Honey I'm still free  
Take a chance on me  
If you need me, let me know, gonna be around  
If you've got no place to go, if you're feeling down  
If you're all alone when the pretty birds have flown  
Honey I'm still free  
Take a chance on me  
Gonna do my very best, baby can't you see  
Gotta put me to the test, take a chance on me  
(take a chance, take a chance, take a chance on me)_

**Lydia, Kitty, the Militia officers and other Meryton girls **[running through the street]: _Ba ba ba ba baa, ba ba ba ba baa  
Honey I'm still free  
Take a chance on me  
Gonna do my very best, baby can't you see  
Gotta put me to the test, take a chance on me  
(take a chance, take a chance, take a chance on me)_

Ba ba ba ba baa, ba ba ba ba baa ba-ba  
Honey I'm still free  
Take a chance on me


	4. I Have A Dream

[Next scene: Longbourn]

**Mr. Bennet**: [leaving the dining room with Lizzy] So daughter, what did you think of your cousin, Mr. Collins? I must say I am glad to find him as ridiculous a man as I had hoped.

**Lizzy: **Indeed father. He is by far the most annoying, self-important, pedantic man I have ever met. I cannot believe he is to inherit this estate after you are gone. And I do not know how I shall enjoy a week of his company.

[in the dining room]

**Mr. Collins: **Mrs. Bennet, I must thank you again for this lovely meal. It was wonderful. And your home is exceedingly beautiful.

**Mrs. Bennet: **Yes, I suppose you are admiring how nice it shall be when it becomes your home.

**Mr. Collins: **Ah, you are speaking of the entailment, then? Yes, it is an unfortunate business. But, that is the matter I wished to discuss with you. Being so unfortunately destined to take away your daughters' livings, I feel I should make amends to you.

**Mrs. Bennet: **Is that so?

**Mr. Collins: **And I must also say that it is the wish of my patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, that I should be married. And I must say, that your eldest daughter, Jane, has caught my eye.

**Mrs. Bennet: **Oh sir, you do not know how happy it makes me to hear this. I thank you, sir. It is my dearest dream to marry a daughter to such a man. But I must let you know that Miss Bennet is now soon to be engaged to another man. Oh, but – my daughter Elizabeth is unspoken for. Could you love her?

**Mr. Collins: **Could I? Indeed I could. She is a marvellous creature. I want more than anything a sweet companion in my life, to take care of my home, to start a family. [SINGING] _I have a dream, a song to sing  
To help me cope with anything  
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale  
You can take the future even if you fail_

**Mrs. Bennet: **_I believe in angels  
Something good in everything I see  
I believe in angels  
When I know the time is right for me  
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream_

**Collins + Mrs. Bennet: **_I have a dream, a fantasy  
To help me through reality  
And my destination makes it worth the while  
Pushing through the darkness still another mile  
I believe in angels  
Something good in everything I see  
I believe in angels  
When I know the time is right for me  
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream  
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream_

[next scene: Jane and Lizzy's bedroom]

**Jane: **I still do not believe that Mr. Darcy could have been so cruel to poor Mr. Wickham. There must be some misunderstanding in all of this.

**Lizzy: **Oh Jane, you are so naïve. You only see good in everything. But I know Mr. Wickham was honest. There's truth and goodness in his looks.

**Jane: **Still, I believe that there is more than what we know of, and I shall ask Mr. Bingley about the matter, and see what he can tell.

**Lizzy: **As for me, my mind is made up. I shall hate Mr. Darcy forever for what he's done to Wickham…

**Jane: **_I have a dream, a song to sing  
To help me cope with anything  
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale_

**Lizzy: **  
_You can take the future even if you fail  
I believe in angels  
Something good in everything I see_

**Jane + Lizzy: **_I believe in angels  
When I know the time is right for me  
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream  
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream_


	5. Super Trouper

[Next scene: Netherfield Park]

**Lizzy: **Oh, I'm so happy Mr. Bingley is holding this ball. Though I hope I don't have to speak with that horrid Mr. Darcy, I do long to see my Wickham. Where is Mr. Wickham anyway?

**Jane: **I have not seen him all evening. Oh my, look!

[Lydia and Kitty, chasing after a pair of officers, laughing vulgarly]

**Lizzy: **Oh my, look!

[Mr. Collins is talking to Mr. Darcy, who seems completely uninterested]

**Jane: **Oh my, look!

[Mrs. Bennet at a table with a bunch of other women]

**Mrs. Bennet: [**loudly]I cannot wait until my daughter and Mr. Bingley are married, and I assure you, it will be soon. They are head over heals for each other!

**Lizzy: **Oh my, look!

[Mary sits down at a piano and begins playing]

**Mary: [**singing very badly] _Super Trouper beams are gonna blind meee  
But I won't feel bluuue  
Like I always dooo  
'Cause somewhere in the crowd there's youuu_

**Mr. Bennet: **[rushing to the piano] That's quite enough Mary. You've entertained us all long enough. Let some of the other girls have a turn.

**Charlotte: **Oh Lizzy, you must performfor us.

**Lizzy: **Oh, well alright, but you know I'm no good. And where is Mr. Wickham, I still don't see him…[sits at the piano and starts playing and singing very well] _I was sick and tired of everything  
When I called you last night from Glasgow  
All I do is eat and sleep and sing  
Wishing every show was the last show  
(Wishing every show was the last show)  
So imagine I was glad to hear you're coming  
(Glad to hear you're coming)  
Suddenly I feel all right  
(And suddenly it's gonna be)_

_And it's gonna be so different  
When I'm on the stage tonight_

[Everyone, enjoying Lizzy playing and smiling, but Lizzy looks around the crowd nervously, hoping to see Mr. Wickham. The band picks up the music and she climbs on top of the piano and just starts belting the song out. Mr. Darcy looks admiringly at her. Lizzy spots him and turns her head away. The crowd, caught up in the music, begin dancing and singing it. They dance in a fast-paced imitation of traditional English country dancing]

**Lizzy + the whole assembly: **_Tonight the  
Super Trouper lights are gonna find me  
Shining like the sun  
(Sup-p-per Troup-p-per)  
Smiling, having fun  
(Sup-p-per Troup-p-per)  
Feeling like a number one  
Tonight the  
Super Trouper beams are gonna blind me  
But I won't feel blue  
(Sup-p-per Troup-p-per)  
Like I always do  
(Sup-p-per Troup-p-per)  
'Cause somewhere in the crowd there's you_

[when the song ends, the crowd applauds and Lizzy bows, her head still turning to find Wickham]


	6. Fernando

**Lizzy: **Mr. Denny, do you know where your friend Mr. Wickham is?

**Denny: **Oh, did you not know Miss Elizabeth? Mr. Wickham decided not to attend the ball. He said he did not want to encounter Mr. Darcy. If you excuse me, I must be going. Me and some of the officers will be performing a song I composed on the battlefield shortly.

**Lizzy: **Curse that Mr. Darcy! I so wanted to dance a reel with Mr. Wickham tonight!

[Mr. Darcy approaches]

**Darcy: **Miss Elizabeth – may I apply for your hand in the next dance?

**Lizzy: **Um – yes.

[Darcy leaves]

**Charlotte: **I thought you didn't like Mr. Darcy?

**Lizzy: **I don't. I was so surprised, I didn't realize what I was saying.

**Charlotte: **Well, perhaps you shall like him?

**Lizzy: **I do not want to like a man I am determined to hate!

[the band begins playing and a trio of officers sing. Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth begin dancing]

**Officers: **_Can you hear the drums Fernando?  
I remember long ago another starry night like this  
In the firelight Fernando  
You were humming to yourself and softly strumming your guitar  
I could hear the distant drums  
And sounds of bugle calls were coming from afar_

They were closer now Fernando  
Every hour every minute seemed to last eternally  
I was so afraid Fernando  
We were young and full of life and none of us prepared to die  
And I'm not ashamed to say  
The roar of guns and cannons almost made me cry

There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright, Fernando  
They were shining there for you and me for liberty, Fernando  
Though we never thought that we could lose, there's no regret  
If I had to do the same again, I would my friend, Fernando  
If I had to do the same again, I would my friend, Fernando

**[**the band keeps the tune of the song going, but the singers fade out for the following conversation]

**Lizzy: **Are not going to say anything, Mr. Darcy?

**Darcy**: Do you talk by rule then, while you are dancing?

**Lizzy**: Well, it would be odd to be silent for a half hour. But then, I guess some like arranging conversation so they can get away saying as little as they can.

**Darcy:** Are you consulting your own feelings in the present case, or do you imagine that you are gratifying mine?

**Lizzy**: Both. We aren't that different. We are both unsocial taciturn – unwilling to speak unless we expect to say something that will amaze the whole room.

**Darcy:** This is no very striking resemblance of your own character, I am sure.

**Lizzy:** When I saw you the other day, I was making a new friend, Mr. Wickham. Do you know him?

**Darcy**: Mr. Wickham is blessed with such happy manners as may ensure his _making_ friends - whether he may be equally capable of _retaining_ them, is less certain.

**Lizzy**: Well, he did lose your friendship, and it might affect the rest of his life. There is just no subject we can have a good conversation about.

**Darcy**: What think you of books?

**Lizzy**: Books – no. I'm sure we do not have the same tastes.

**Darcy**: I am sorry you think so; but if that be the case, there can at least be no want of subject. - We may compare our different opinions.

**Lizzy**: I cannot talk about books in a ballroom. My head is always full of something else.

**Darcy:** The _present_ always occupies you in such scenes - does it?

**Lizzy**: Yes, always. I remember you once said you almost never forgive. Are you careful, then, in not rushing into bad opinions of others?

**Darcy**: I am.

**Lizzy**: You are never blinded by prejudice?

**Darcy**: I hope not.

**Lizzy**: People who never change their opinions cannot be rash in their judgments.

**Darcy**: May I ask to what these questions tend?

**Lizzy:** I am just trying to make out your character.

**Darcy:** And what is your success?

**Lizzy**: I do not know. I hear so many different accounts of you as to puzzle me exceedingly.

**Darcy**: Report may vary greatly with respect to me; and I could wish, Miss Bennet, that you were not to sketch my character at the present moment, as there is reason to fear that the performance would reflect no credit on either.

**Lizzy**: But if I cannot do it now, I may never get the chance.

**Darcy**: I would by no means suspend any pleasure of yours.

**Officers: **_Now we're old and gray Fernando  
Since many years I haven't seen a rifle in your hand  
Can you hear the drums Fernando?  
Do you still recall the faithful night we crossed the Rio Grande?  
I can see it in your eyes  
How proud you were to fight for freedom in this land_

There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright, Fernando  
They were shining there for you and me for liberty, Fernando  
Though we never thought that we could lose, there's no regret  
If I had to do the same again, I would my friend, Fernando

There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright, Fernando  
They were shining there for you and me for liberty, Fernando  
Though we never thought that we could lose, there's no regret  
If I had to do the same again, I would my friend, Fernando  
Yes if I had to do the same again, I would my friend, Fernando  
If I had to do the same again, I would my friend, Fernando


	7. Chiquitita

[Next scene: Longbourn]

**Mr. Collins: **Excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. Bennet. May I have the honour of a private council with your lovely daughter Miss Elizabeth?

**Mrs. Bennet: **Oh! Oh, yes, yes, most certainly. Come along everyone. Let us leave Lizzy with her handsome young cousin.

**Lizzy: **No, truly, there can be no reason –

[all the Bennets exit]

**Mr. Collins: **I cannot attempt to hide the er, strength of my love and such. I come here to ask for your hand in marriage. And there are three reasons I ask – first, that a clergyman should set the example of marriage for his congregation. Second, that it would be proper, considering the entailment of this estate. And third, it is the wish of my patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh.

**Lizzy: **I am honoured by your sentiments, really, but I cannot accept.

**Mr. Collins: **Ah, I see you are one of those lovely ladies who wish to enlarge men's love by denying it. Your modesty is lovely.

**Lizzy: **I am no such woman, if indeed such women exist.

**Mr. Collins**: But I know you are. Knowing you may never find another husband with your lack of wealth, and knowing your parent's desire for this union, I know you are simply trying to entice me more before you accept.

**Lizzy: **No! You cannot make me happy, and I am the last woman in the world who can make you so.

**Mr. Collins: **Elizabeth, why do you seem so agitated? You need not fear the feelings you have. We shall soon be married!

**Lizzy: **Argh!

**Mr. Collins: **[Singing] _Chiquitita, tell me what's wrong?  
You're enchained by your own sorrow  
In your eyes there is no hope for tomorrow  
How I hate to see you like this  
There is no way you can deny it  
I can see that you're oh so sad, so quiet_

Chiquitita, tell me the truth  
I'm a shoulder you can cry on  
Your best friend, I'm the one you must rely on

[Mr. Collins moves to embrace her. Lizzy runs away, towards her mother, who has been listening in]

**Mrs. Bennet: **[frustrated] _You were always sure of yourself  
Now I see you've broken a feather  
I hope we can patch it up together_

Chiquitita, you and I know  
How the heartaches come and they go  
And the scars they're leaving  
You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end  
You will have no time for grieving

[Lizzy runs from her too, towards her father who is reading in the library. Distressed, she hugs him]

**Mr. Bennet: **  
_Chiquitita, you and I cry  
And the sun is still in the sky and shining above you  
Let me hear you sing once more like you did before  
Sing a new song, Chiquitita  
Try once more like you did before  
Sing a new song, Chiquitita_

[Mrs. Bennet enters]

**Mr. Bennet: **An unhappy alternative is before you. From now on you must be stranger to one of your parents. Your mother shall never speak to you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins. And I shall never speak to you again if you do.


	8. VoulezVous

[Next scene: Lucas Lodge]

**Mr. Collins: **Miss Lucas, I must thank you for the diversion and attention you've given me these last few days. It has been an immense comfort. Of course, I was hesitant to spend too much time with my dear cousins after the unfortunate incident…

**Charlotte: **It was no trouble at all. And I still say Eliza does not know what she is missing.

**Mr. Collins: **Do you really think so? But then, what women should want me, I suppose? Where shall I ever find a wife now? Lady Catherine was most insistent upon it.

**Charlotte: **I often wonder if I shall ever find a husband. Twenty-seven, of small fortune, not a beauty. Well, perhaps someday…

**Mr. Collins: **Well, I should be going…

**Charlotte: **[rolls eyes] Mr. Collins, I am trying to tell you something.

**Mr. Collins: **Are you?

**Charlotte: **Indeed I am. Can you not guess what it is?

**Mr. Collins: **No, my dear girl. What is it?

**Charlotte: **A solution to both of our problems… [Collins stares blankly at her. Exasperated, Charlotte begins singing.] _People everywhere  
A sense of expectation hangin' in the air  
Givin' out a spark  
Across the room your eyes are glowin' in the dark  
And here we go again, we know the start, we know the end  
Masters of the scene  
We've done it all before and now we're back to get some more  
You know what I mean_

**Mr. Collins: **[understanding] _Voulez-vous (aha!)  
Take it now or leave it (aha!)  
Now is all we get (aha!)  
Nothing promised, no regrets  
Voulez-vous (aha!)  
Ain't no big decision (aha!)  
You know what to do (aha!)  
La question c'est voulez-vous  
Voulez-vous_

[Charlotte and Mr. Collins join hands and start dancing. Mr. Collins attempts to twirl Charlotte but fails and sends her tumbling to the ground. Quickly, he helps her back up. After brushing herself off, they continue singing]

**Charlotte + Mr. Collins: **  
_I know what you think  
The girl means business so I'll offer her a drink  
Lookin' mighty proud  
I see you leave your table, pushin' through the crowd  
I'm really glad you came, you know the rules, you know the game  
Master of the scene  
We've done it all before and now we're back to get some more  
You know what I mean_

Voulez-vous (aha!)  
Take it now or leave it (aha!)  
Now is all we get (aha!)  
Nothing promised, no regrets  
Voulez-vous (aha!)  
Ain't no big decision (aha!)  
You know what to do (aha!)  
La question c'est voulez-vous

[Next scene: Longbourn]

**Lizzy: **You're engaged to Mr. Collins?

**Charlotte: **Yes I am Eliza.

**Lizzy: **But, but, he's horrid. You can't possibly love him.

**Charlotte: **Of course not. But what other chance have I of being settled? You know I am not romantic.

**Lizzy: **Will you be happy?

**Charlotte: **Don't worry, I can handle Mr. Collins. Oh, but do promise to visit me in Hunsford soon after we marry.

**Lizzy: **Of course.

[Next scene: outside of a church. Mr. and the new Mrs. Collins proceed out of the church, just having been married. The wedding guests come out behind them celebrating. As Mr. and Mrs. Collins get in their carriage and drive away, everyone sings]

**Crowd:**  
_And here we go again, we know the start, we know the end  
Masters of the scene  
We've done it all before and now we're back to get some more  
You know what I mean_

Voulez-vous (aha!)  
Take it now or leave it (aha!)  
Now is all we get (aha!)  
Nothing promised, no regrets  
Voulez-vous (aha!)  
Ain't no big decision (aha!)  
You know what to do (aha!)  
La question c'est voulez-vous  
Voulez-vous

Voulez-vous (aha!)  
(aha!)  
(aha!)  
Voulez-vous (aha!)  
(aha!)  
(aha!)

Voulez-vous (aha!)  
Take it now or leave it (aha!)  
Now is all we get (aha!)  
Nothing promised, no regrets  
Voulez-vous (aha!)  
Ain't no big decision (aha!)  
You know what to do (aha!)  
La question c'est voulez-vous  
Voulez-vous

Voulez-vous!


	9. SOS

[Next scene: Longbourn]

**Lizzy: **Jane, what is the matter?

**Jane: **Oh, no, nothing, really.

**Lizzy: **I can tell…

**Jane: **I've received this letter from Caroline Bingley. It tells me that she, her brother and the rest of the party have all gone to London on business.

**Lizzy: **Without first telling you personally? But –

**Jane: **There is more than that. It says that they do not expect to come back for all of winter, and indeed, that Mr. Bingley may decide not to renew the lease on Netherfield Park.

**Lizzy: **That cannot be.

**Jane: **And here, it states that presently in London they are enjoying the company of the lovely, accomplished Miss Darcy, younger sister of Bingley's friend. Apparently, Mr. Bingley is quite fond of her, and –

**Lizzy: **What?

**Jane: **Miss Bingley hopes that, in short time, she may come to call Miss Darcy her…sister. Do you not see what this means? Caroline is warning me, letting me know that Bingley's affections lie elsewhere.

**Lizzy: **Nonsense! He loved you. Anyone could have seen it. This whole story sounds like the schemes of Miss Bingley, who hopes to break your connection in hopes of persuading her brother to a marriage she considers more advantageous.

**Jane: **No, no it cannot be. Miss Bingley is my friend.

**Lizzy: **You, my poor, poor Jane…

**Jane: **There is no need for your concern. I am quite alright, really. Just may I be left alone for a period?

[Lizzy leaves]

**Jane: **[singing]  
_Where are those happy days, they seem so hard to find  
I tried to reach for you, but you have closed your mind  
Whatever happened to our love?  
I wish I understood  
It used to be so nice, it used to be so good_

So when you're near me, darling can't you hear me  
S. O. S.  
The love you gave me, nothing else can save me  
S. O. S.  
When you're gone  
How can I even try to go on?  
When you're gone  
Though I try how can I carry on?

[Next scene: a London residence]

**Mr. Darcy: **You look quite morose.

**Mr. Bingley: **And know you not why I should be?

**Mr. Darcy: **These circumstances shall work out for the greater good of all parties involved, you may have faith in it.

**Mr. Bingley: **If you say so, friend. [Bingley exits]

**Mr. Darcy: **And yet how I struggle myself with feelings of separation. But they shall not overcome me as they do Charles…[sighs. Starts singing]  
_You seem so far away though you are standing near  
You made me feel alive, but something died I fear  
I really tried to make it out  
I wish I understood  
What happened to our love, it used to be so good_

**Mr. Bingley: [**in the next room]  
_So when you're near me, darling can't you hear me  
S. O. S.  
The love you gave me, nothing else can save me  
S. O. S.  
When you're gone  
How can I even try to go on?  
When you're gone  
Though I try how can I carry on?_

**Jane + Bingley + Darcy **[through split-screen]:  
_So when you're near me, darling can't you hear me  
S. O. S.  
And the love you gave me, nothing else can save me  
S. O. S.  
When you're gone  
How can I even try to go on?  
When you're gone  
Though I try how can I carry on?  
When you're gone  
How can I even try to go on?  
When you're gone  
Though I try how can I carry on?_


	10. The Winner Takes It All

[Next scene: Longbourn]

**Lizzy: **I cannot believe it. Almost a month and still Mr. Bingley has not returned. I was positive – oh well. Now we can scarcely hope for his return until springtime.

**Mrs. Bennet: **Springtime indeed! As though he has any intentions of ever returning. He has not written a single letter to Jane! He has left us all forever, I am sure. He has toyed with all of us. And you, Lizzy, throwing away the chance of marriage and Longbourn! Now one day Charlotte Lucas shall become mistress in my place, and we shall all be ruined! Oh, no one has any compassion on my poor nerves!

**Mr. Bennet: **Believe me, I have the greatest consideration on your nerves. I have heard you talk of them with great regard these twenty years. Do not worry about being turned out as mistress of Longbourn. Think of happier things. Perhaps I shall outlive you. And as for Jane – well, every young woman enjoys being jilted in love, at least once before marriage.

**Jane: **I am quite alright, I assure you. Excuse me. [Jane leaves]

**Mr. Bennet: **Now it is Lizzy's turn to be jilted. I see you have great admiration on the charming Mr. Wickham. He is handsome and charming – just the right sort of man to break your heart. Seek after it, girl.

**Lizzy: **Excuse me, father. [Lizzy joins Jane in the hallway] Jane, are you alright.

**Jane: **Yes Lizzy, of course I am. I assure you, whatever Father and Mother may think, I am quite unaffected by the absence of Mr. Bingley. Now, if you'll excuse me… [goes to her bedroom. There she starts singing]  
_I don't wanna talk  
About the things we've gone through  
Though it's hurting me  
Now it's history  
I've played all my cards  
And that's what you've done too  
Nothing more to say  
No more ace to play_

The winner takes it all  
The loser standing small  
Beside the victory  
That's her destiny

[meanwhile in London]

**Mr. Bingley: **  
_I was in your arms  
Thinking I belonged there  
I figured it made sense  
Building me a fence  
Building me a home  
Thinking I'd be strong there  
But I was a fool  
Playing by the rules_

The gods may throw a dice  
Their minds as cold as ice  
And someone way down here  
Loses someone dear

[Next scene: a Christmas party at the home of Mrs. Philips]

**Lizzy: **My dear, dear Aunt! I am so glad to see you.

**Mrs. Gardiner: **As am I, Elizabeth. And I am dying of curiosity to finally see the charming Mr. Wickham I have heard you praise so highly in your letters to me. As you know, he is from Derbyshire, where I spent some of the happiest days in my life.

**Lizzy: **There he is, dancing with that young lady.

**Lydia: **_Mary King. _Oh isn't it awful. He plans on marrying that plain, ugly creature.

**Mrs. Gardiner: **He's engaged to her?

**Kitty: **Yes, but only because of her money. She has ten thousand pounds. She just inherited it on her grandfather's death. He never showed any interest in her before.

**Mrs. Gardiner: **Well, that sounds rather mercenary of him.

**Lizzy: **Don't be silly. Handsome young men must have means to live just as much as the plain. Considering that Mr. Darcy took away his chance at a living, the poor man has no choice but to marry for money. Perhaps were it not for Darcy, he may have married where his true affections lie, but - As long as Mary King does not object, why should we? Besides, I am sick and tired of men. They all of them repulse me.

[Lizzy gets up and stares at Mr. Wickham and Mary King across the room]

**Lizzy: **  
_The winner takes it all  
The loser has to fall  
It's simple and it's plain  
Why should I complain._

But tell me does she kiss  
Like I used to kiss you?  
Does it feel the same  
When she calls your name?  
Somewhere deep inside  
You must know I miss you  
But what can I say  
Rules must be obeyed

The judges will decide  
The likes of me abide  
Spectators of the show  
Always staying low

[the young women at the party join in]

**Young women: **  
_The game is on again  
A lover or a friend  
A big thing or a small  
The winner takes it all_

I don't wanna talk  
If it makes you feel sad  
And I understand  
You've come to shake my hand  
I apologize  
If it makes you feel bad  
Seeing me so tense  
No self-confidence  
But you see  
The winner takes it all  
The winner takes it all...


	11. Money, Money, Money

[Next scene: Longbourn]

**Mr. Bennet: **Farewell Lizzy. Have fun visiting Mrs. Collin in Kent.

**Lizzy: **With Mr. Collins as my host, I think fun will be inevitable, though perhaps not in the way he imagines.

**Mrs. Bennet: **Do be sure to be on your best behaviour if you should encounter Lady Catherine. One must always be on one's best behaviour around the upper classes. It will help place you in the palms of other rich young men – not that you deserve it. I cannot imagine what man would make you happy.

**Lizzy: **Must you always speak of money.

**Mrs. Bennet: **Someone in this house needs must do. We are virtually penniless. Nobody understands me. It is a constant vexation on my poor nerves. [Singing] _I work all night, I work all day, to pay the bills I have to pay  
Ain't it sad  
And still there never seems to be a single penny left for me  
That's too bad  
In my dreams I have a plan  
If I got me a wealthy man  
I wouldn't have to work at all, I'd fool around and have a ball_

Money, money, money  
Must be funny  
In the rich man's world  
Money, money, money  
Always sunny  
In the rich man's world  
Aha-ahaaa  
All the things I could do  
If I had a little money  
It's a rich man's world

**Lizzy + Mrs. Bennet: **_A man like that is hard to find but I can't get him off my mind  
Ain't it sad  
And if he happens to be free I bet he wouldn't fancy me  
That's too bad  
So I must leave, I'll have to go  
To Las Vegas or Monaco  
And win a fortune in a game, my life will never be the same_

[Next scene: outside Rosings Park]

**Mr. Collins: **I must congratulate you on the good fortune you have, Miss Elizabeth, of being asked to dine at Rosings Park. I should not have been at all surprised by her Ladyship's asking us on Sunday to drink tea and spend the evening at Rosings. I rather expected, from my knowledge of her affability, that it would happen. But who could have foreseen such an attention as this? Who could have imagined that we should receive an invitation to dine there (an invitation moreover including the whole party) so immediately after your arrival! You hardly know what to expect – the sight of such rooms, so many servants, and so splendid a dinner. It might wholly overpower you. Lady Catherine will not think the worse of you for being simply dressed. She likes to have the distinction of rank preserved. Be quick. Lady Catherine very much objects to being kept waiting for her dinner. Look how many windows there are in the front of the house alone. The glazing altogether originally cost Sir Lewis De Bourgh quite a fortune. Oh, and you must see the fine proportion and finished ornaments in the entrance hall…

**Elizabeth: **[lagging behind the others] _Money, money, money  
Must be funny  
In the rich man's world  
Money, money, money  
Always sunny  
In the rich man's world  
Aha-ahaaa  
All the things I could do  
If I had a little money  
It's a rich man's world_

Money, money, money  
Must be funny  
In the rich man's world  
Money, money, money  
Always sunny  
In the rich man's world  
Aha-ahaaa  
All the things I could do  
If I had a little money  
It's a rich man's world

It's a rich man's world


	12. Our Last Summer

**Lady Catherine:** It is a pleasure to meet you. I believe you already know my nephew – Mr. Darcy.

[Lizzy and Darcy looked shocked to see each other]

**Lady Catherine: **And this is my other nephew, Col. Fitzwilliam.

[next scene: after dinner]

**Lizzy: **[laughing] That is quite funny, Colonel. You are most amusing.

**Col. Fitzwilliam: **As are you, Miss Elizabeth.

**Lady Catherine: **What are you speaking of over there? I must have my share in the conversation!

**Col. Fitzwilliam: **Merely an anecdote, my Aunt.

**Lady Catherine: **I understand you play the pianoforte, Miss Elizabeth?

**Lizzy: **Oh yes, but not very well. I do not practice enough.

**Lady Catherine: **Well that cannot do. Now, Mr. Darcy's sister Georgiana, she is a fine player. And I often tell Mrs. Collins she is welcome to practice on my piano. She will be in nobody's way in that part of the house. But come, I must have you play.

**Lizzy: **Oh no, I couldn't.

**Lady Catherine: **But music is my pleasure. There are few people in all of England who are as knowledgeable of music as I am. And if I had ever learned to play, I should be a true proficient. So would my daughter Anne, had her health allowed it.

**Col. Fitzwilliam: **Come Miss Elizabeth, I shall accompany you if you are nervous.

**Lizzy: **Thank you. [Elizabeth sits at the piano and starts playing. She sings] _The summer air was soft and warm  
The feeling right, the Paris night  
Did its best to please us  
And strolling down the Elysee  
We had a drink in each cafe  
And you  
You talked of politics, philosophy and I  
Smiled like Mona Lisa  
We had our chance  
It was a fine and true romance_

**Col. Fitzwilliam: **_I can still recall our last summer  
I still see it all  
Walks along the Seine, laughing in the rain  
Our last summer  
Memories that remain_

**Lizzy + Col. Fitzwilliam: **  
_We made our way along the river  
And we sat down in the grass  
By the Eiffel tower  
I was so happy we had met  
It was the age of no regret  
Oh yes  
Those crazy years, that was the time  
Of the flower-power  
But underneath we had a fear of flying  
Of getting old, a fear of slowly dying  
We took the chance  
Like we were dancing our last dance_

[Mr. Darcy approaches the piano]

**Lizzy: **Do you mean to frighten me, sir, by standing over me thus? Well, I shall not be intimidated, even if your sister is such a fine player.

**Darcy: **You could not really believe me to entertain any design of alarming you; and I have had the pleasure of your acquaintance long enough to know, that you find great enjoyment in occasionally professing opinions which in fact are not your own.''

**Lizzy: **My, you will teach your cousin not to believe a word I say. A shame I must meet someone so acquainted with my behavior in Hertfordshire, when I am in a part of the world where I might pass myself with some credence. It will force me to reveal your behavior there, to the shock of your relations.

**Darcy: **I am not afraid of you.

**Lizzy: **The first time I met Mr. Darcy, it was at a ball where he danced only four dances, although there was more than one lady sitting down.

**Darcy: **I had not at that time the honour of knowing any lady in the assembly beyond my own party.

**Lizzy: **And no one can ever be introduced in a ballroom.

**Darcy: **I should have judged better, had I sought an introduction, but I am ill qualified to recommend myself to strangers.

**Lizzy: **And why should a man of sense and education, who has lived in the world, not be qualified to recommend himself?

**Darcy: **I certainly have not the talent which some people possess of conversing easily with those I have never seen before.

**Lizzy: **And I cannot play this piano as well as some ladies. But I have always supposed that is my fault, for not practicing enough. Not that my fingers are not as capable as other ladies.

**Darcy: **You are perfectly right. You have employed your time much better. No one admitted to the privilege of hearing you, can think any thing wanting. We neither of us perform to strangers. But, I came here to ask only to accompany you. I was captivated by the music.

**Lizzy: **If that is your pleasure sir, certainly. [Lizzy begins playing again]

**Darcy: **[singing] _I can still recall our last summer  
I still see it all  
In the tourist jam, round the Notre Dame  
Our last summer  
Walking hand in hand_

**Col. Fitzwilliam: **_Paris restaurants  
Our last summer  
Morning croissants  
Living for the day, worries far away  
Our last summer  
We would laugh and play_

**Lizzy: **_And now you're working in a bank  
The family man, a football fan  
And your name is Harry  
How dull it seems  
Yet you're the hero of my dreams?_

**All three at once: **_I can still recall our last summer  
I still see it all  
Walks along the Seine, laughing in the rain  
Our last summer  
Memories that remain  
I can still recall our last summer  
I still see it all  
In the tourist jam, round the Notre Dame  
Our last summer  
Walking hand in hand  
Paris restaurants  
Our last summer  
Morning croissants  
We were living for the day, worries far away_


	13. Slipping Through My Fingers

[Next scene: Rosings Park. Mr. Darcy, Col. Fitzwilliam and Lady Catherine are in the living room. A servant arrives with a letter]

**Servant: **A letter for you, Mr. Darcy, sir, from Miss Georgiana Darcy.

**Darcy: **Thank you. You may go. [reads letter to himself] "My dearest brother, it is with the highest felicity and congratulations that I reply to your letter. Indeed, from all that I have heard of this Miss Bennet, she sounds as delightful a young lady who ever lived. Perhaps the blinds of love have softened your view, in which case, I hope to in short time be able to see for myself. But I do not hold you, dear Fitzwilliam, of being of such dull wit, to become enamoured with any woman who was not possessing of the highest virtues. I must also thank you, for the kind condescension of asking me first my opinion on your marrying, before even considering proposal. Not that I could or would wish to control your actions, but it reveals a loving attention which I fear I am undeserving. With the greatest of sisterly love, Georgiana."

**Lady Catherine: **And how is Georgiana? In good health, I hope? She was always robust, not like my Anne. Too robust, perhaps…

**Col. Fitzwilliam: **I hope all is well in London? Has she grown much since I last saw her?

**Darcy: **Indeed. She has grown a lot. [sighs. Starts Singing] _Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning  
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile  
I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness  
And I have to sit down for a while  
The feeling that Im losing her forever  
And without really entering her world  
Im glad whenever I can share her laughter  
That funny little girl_

Slipping through my fingers all the time  
I try to capture every minute  
The feeling in it  
Slipping through my fingers all the time  
Do I really see whats in her mind  
Each time I think Im close to knowing  
She keeps on growing  
Slipping through my fingers all the time

**Darcy + Lady Catherine + Col. Fitzwilliam: [Singing] **_Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table  
Barely awake, I let precious time go by  
Then when shes gone theres that odd melancholy feeling  
And a sense of guilt I cant deny  
What happened to the wonderful adventures  
The places I had planned for us to go  
(slipping through my fingers all the time)  
Well, some of that we did but most we didnt  
And why I just dont know_

Slipping through my fingers all the time  
I try to capture every minute  
The feeling in it  
Slipping through my fingers all the time  
Do I really see whats in her mind  
Each time I think Im close to knowing  
She keeps on growing  
Slipping through my fingers all the time

[next scene: Mr. Collins house. Lizzy is alone when she hears a knock at the door. She answers and it is Mr. Darcy]

**Lizzy: **Sir, I am afraid there is no one else home if that is why you came…

**Darcy: **In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you. It is though, though you are inferior, though it would be a degradation to my pride, though there be family obstacles which judgment has always opposed to inclination, still I say I wish to marry you. In spite of all my endeavours, I have found it impossible to conquer my attachment to you, thus is its strength. I love you in spite of my will, my reason, and my character. I hope it will now be rewarded with your acceptance of my hand. Though anxiety and apprehension eat away at me, still I hope undoubtedly for a favourable answer.

**Lizzy: **I see. I, yes, well… I see. I know in cases like these, one should express a sense of obligation. If I could feel gratitude I would, but I do not. I never wished for your good opinion, and it has been bestowed upon me most unwillingly. I am sorry to have caused anyone pain, but it was unintentional, and hopefully of short duration. The obstacles that kept you from proposing sooner, which you so kindly listed, will no doubt make it easier to recover.

**Darcy: **And this is all the reply which I am to have the honour of expecting! I might, perhaps, wish to be informed why, with so little _endeavour_ at civility, I am thus rejected. But it is of small importance.

**Lizzy: **And I might also ask why, with so evident a design as insulting me, you chose to tell me you loved me against your will, reason and character? Wasn't that reason for some incivility, if I was uncivil? But I have other reasons, and you know it. Your cousin told me. He told me you were responsible for tearing Mr. Bingley apart from my most beloved sister! Can you deny it?

**Darcy: **I have no wish of denying that I did every thing in my power to separate my friend from your sister, or that I rejoice in my success. Towards _him_ I have been kinder than towards myself.

**Lizzy: **It's not just that! My opinion of you had already been determined many months ago, when I heard the story of Mr. Wickham. Can you defend yourself there?

**Darcy: **You take an eager interest in that gentleman's concerns

**Lizzy: **Who wouldn't after hearing of his misfortunes?

**Darcy: **yes, his misfortunes have been great indeed.

**Lizzy: **You ruined his life and you talk about it with contempt and ridicule?

**Darcy: **these offences might have been overlooked, had not your pride been hurt by my honest confession of the scruples that had long prevented my forming any serious design. These bitter accusations might have been suppressed, had I with greater policy concealed my struggles, and flattered you into the belief of my being impelled by unqualified, unalloyed inclination - by reason, by reflection, by every thing. But disguise of every sort is my abhorrence. Nor am I ashamed of the feelings I related. They were natural and just. Could you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of your connections? To congratulate myself on the hope of relations, whose condition in life is so decidedly beneath my own?

**Lizzy: **You could not have proposed to me in any way that would make me accept you. Your behaviour has simply made it easier to reject you then if you had acted in a more gentleman-like manner. I have seen, from the moment I met you, your arrogance, your conceit, your selfish disdain for the feelings of others. You are the last man in the world I would marry.

**Darcy: **You have said quite enough, madam. I perfectly comprehend your feelings, and have now only to be ashamed of what my own have been. Forgive me for having taken up so much of your time, and accept my best wishes for your health and happiness.

[Lizzy, left alone, starts crying]

[Next scene: Rosing Parks. Mr. Darcy's bedroom. He is pacing back and forth in his room. His sits at a desk and picks up a quill and begins writing]

**Mr. Darcy: **[speaking aloud what he writes] Be not alarmed, Madam, on receiving this letter, by the apprehension of its containing any repetition of those sentiments, or renewal of those offers, which were last night so disgusting to you. Two offences of a very different nature, and by no means of equal magnitude, you last night laid to my charge. The part which I acted is now to be explained. With respect to that other, more weighty accusation, of having injured Mr. Wickham, I can only refute it by laying before you the whole of his connection with my family. My excellent father died about five years ago; and his attachment to Mr. Wickham was to the last so steady, that in his will he particularly recommended it to me to promote his advancement in the best manner that his profession might allow, and, if he took orders, desired that a valuable family living might be his as soon as it became vacant. There was also a legacy of one thousand pounds. His own father did not long survive mine, and within half a year from these events Mr. Wickham wrote to inform me that, having finally resolved against taking orders, he hoped I should not think it unreasonable for him to expect some more immediate pecuniary advantage, in lieu of the preferment by which he could not be benefited. In town, I believe, he chiefly lived, but his studying the law was a mere pretence, and being now free from all restraint, his life was a life of idleness and dissipation. For about three years I heard little of him; but on the decease of the incumbent of the living which had been designed for him, he applied to me again by letter for the presentation. You will hardly blame me for refusing to comply with this entreaty, or for resisting every repetition of it. My sister, who is more than ten years my junior, was left to the guardianship of my mother's nephew, Colonel Fitzwilliam, and myself. About a year ago, she was taken from school, and an establishment formed for her in London; and last summer she went with the lady who presided over it, to Ramsgate; and thither also went Mr. Wickham, undoubtedly by design; for there proved to have been a prior acquaintance between him and Mrs. Younge, in whose character we were most unhappily deceived; and by her connivance and aid he so far recommended himself to Georgiana, whose affectionate heart retained a strong impression of his kindness to her as a child, that she was persuaded to believe herself in love, and to consent to an elopement. She was then but fifteen, which must be her excuse; and after stating her imprudence, I am happy to add that I owed the knowledge of it to herself. I joined them unexpectedly a day or two before the intended elopement; and then Georgiana, unable to support the idea of grieving and offending a brother whom she almost looked up to as a father, acknowledged the whole to me.

[Darcy gets up, paces the room once more and sighs. Singing]  
_Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture  
And save it from the funny tricks of time  
Slipping through my fingers..._

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Schoolbag in hand she leaves home in the early morning  
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile...


	14. Gimme Gimme Gimme

[Next scene: A scenic park area in Hunsford. Lizzy is walking when Mr. Darcy approaches]

**Mr. Darcy: **I have been walking in the grove some time in the hope of meeting you. Will you do me the honour of reading that letter? [Darcy hands her the letter, bows, and leaves. Almost immediately Elizabeth tears it open and begins reading]

[Next scene: Lizzy's bedroom in Mr. Collins' house at night. She is lying in bed awake, tossing and turning. She pulls up her covers and starts pacing around the room.

**Lizzy: **[Singing]  
_Half past twelve  
And I'm watching the late show in my flat all alone  
How I hate to spend the evening on my own  
Autumn winds  
Blowing outside my window as I look around the room  
And it makes me so depressed to see the gloom_

there's not a soul out there  
no one to hear my prayer

Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight  
Won't somebody help me chase the shadows away  
Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight  
Take me through the darkness to the break of the day

Movie stars  
Find the end of the rainbow, with a fortune to win  
It's so different from the world I'm living in  
Tired of T.V.  
I open the window and I gaze into the night  
But there's nothing there to see, no one in sight

**Lizzy: **Oh, I must read it over once again. [goes to a desk, pulls out a letter, lights a candle and reads aloud] I write without any intention of paining you, or humbling myself, by dwelling on wishes, which, for the happiness of both, cannot be too soon forgotten; and the effort which the formation and the perusal of this letter must occasion should have been spared, had not my character required it to be written and read. You must, therefore, pardon the freedom with which I demand your attention; your feelings, I know, will bestow it unwillingly, but I demand it of your justice. From that moment I observed my friend's behaviour attentively; and I could then perceive that his partiality for Miss Bennet was beyond what I had ever witnessed in him. Your sister I also watched. - Her look and manners were open, cheerful, and engaging as ever, but without any symptom of peculiar regard, and I remained convinced from the evening's scrutiny, that though she received his attentions with pleasure, she did not invite them by any participation of sentiment. But amidst your concern for the defects of your nearest relations, and your displeasure at this representation of them, let it give you consolation to consider that to have conducted yourselves so as to avoid any share of the like censure is praise no less generally bestowed on you and your eldest sister, than it is honourable to the sense and disposition of both. - I will only say farther that, from what passed that evening, my opinion of all parties was confirmed, and every inducement heightened, which could have led me before to preserve my friend from what I esteemed a most unhappy connection. - He left Netherfield for London, on the day following, as you, I am certain, remember, with the design of soon returning. - . If I have wounded your sister's feelings, it was unknowingly done; and though the motives which governed me may to you very naturally appear insufficient, I have not yet learnt to condemn them. Mr. Wickham's chief object was unquestionably my sister's fortune, which is thirty thousand pounds; but I cannot help supposing that the hope of revenging himself on me was a strong inducement. His revenge would have been complete indeed. I will only add, God bless you." What should I think of this all?

[Singing]

_there's not a soul out there  
no one to hear my prayer_

Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight  
Won't somebody help me chase the shadows away  
Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight  
Take me through the darkness to the break of the day

Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight...  
Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight...

there's not a soul out there  
no one to hear my prayer

Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight  
Won't somebody help me chase the shadows away  
Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight  
Take me through the darkness to the break of the day  
Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight  
Won't somebody help me chase the shadows away  
Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight  
Take me through the darkness to the break of the day


	15. The Name Of The Game

[Next scene: Inside Rosings Park. Lady Catherine sits with Mr. Darcy]

**Lady Catherine: **Oh, but must you leave so soon Fitzwilliam? I shall miss your company. So shall Anne.

**Darcy: **Indeed, I have urgent business to attend to in London. Besides that, I fear I have stayed in Kent far too long.

**Lady Catherine: **Whatever could make you say that?

[Darcy leaves the room without answering. He climbs upstairs to his bedroom, where his suitcase is packed. He goes to the window and stares down at the parsonage on the edge of the grounds.]

**Darcy: **Oh, Elizabeth…[singing] _I've seen you twice, in a short time  
Only a week since we started  
It seems to me, for every time  
I'm getting more open-hearted_

I was an impossible case  
No-one ever could reach me  
But I think I can see in your face  
There's a lot you can teach me  
So I wanna know..

What's the name of the game?  
Does it mean anything to you?  
What's the name of the game?  
Can you feel it the way I do?  
Tell me please, 'cause I have to know  
I'm a bashful child, beginning to grow

And you make me talk  
And you make me feel  
And you make me show  
What I'm trying to conceal  
If I trust in you, would you let me down?  
Would you laugh at me, if I said I care for you?  
Could you feel the same way too?  
I wanna know..

The name of the game

[next scene: Lizzy in her bedroom in Mr. Collins' house]

**Lizzy: **I must admit it. As much as it hurts my pride, I was prejudiced. There is no doubt of it from the letters. Mr. Wickham is a scoundrel who deceived me, and Darcy… oh, he is arrogant, rude, conceited – but not wicked. He is an honourable man, and oh, I was so cruel. How can I ever face him again? [singing] _I have no friends, no-one to see  
And I am never invited  
Now I am here, talking to you  
No wonder I get excited_

Your smile, and the sound of your voice  
And the way you see through me  
Got a feeling, you give me no choice  
But it means a lot to me  
So I wanna know..

What's the name of the game?  
(Your smile and the sound of your voice)  
Does it mean anything to you?  
(Got a feeling you give me no choice)  
But it means a lot, what's the name of the game?  
(Your smile and the sound of your voice)  
Can you feel it the way I do?  
Tell me please, 'cause I have to know  
I'm a bashful child, beginning to grow

[through split-screen, Mr. Darcy is seen getting in a carriage and driving away as Elizabeth keeps singing]

**Lizzy + Darcy: **_And you make me talk  
And you make me feel  
And you make me show  
What I'm trying to conceal  
If I trust in you, would you let me down?  
Would you laugh at me, if I said I care for you?  
Could you feel the same way too?  
I wanna know..  
Oh yes I wanna know.._

The name of the game  
(I was an impossible case)  
Does it mean anything to you?  
(But I think I can see in your face)  
That it means a lot  
What's the name of the game?  
(Your smile and the sound of your voice)  
Can you feel it the way I do?  
(Got a feeling you give me no choice)  
But it means a lot, what's the name of the game?  
(I was an impossible case)  
Does it mean anything to you?  
(But I think I can see in your face)  
That it means a lot


	16. Knowing Me, Knowing You

[Next scene: Lizzy, Jane, Lydia, Kitty, Mary and Maria Lucas in front of Longbourne]

**Lydia: **I am so happy you two have come home. I wish though that you had managed to get snah husbands while you were away!

**Jane: **Lydia!

**Lydia: **It's the truth.

**Kitty: **We shall never find husbands in Hertfordshire now.

**Lydia: **No, how can we?

**Maria: **What is the matter?

**Kitty: **What is the matter?

**Lydia: **The militia are leaving! Oh, there shall be nothing to do from now on. No reason to smile, or laugh or go to balls! It isn't fair!

**Kitty: **Indeed it is not!

**Lydia: **What shall I ever do without my redcoats, my Denny, my Wickham!

**Lizzy: **I do not believe the departure of Mr. Wickham's society shall be any great loss to us.

**Lydia: **How can you say so, Lizzy? Now that Mary King has left to live with her uncle, he is a single man!

**Lizzy: **Excuse me, I am fatigued from the journey. Jane, would you please keep me company indoors?

**Jane: **Of course.

**Lizzy: **Now I have a shocking tale from my travels which you must listen to. It has driven me mad having nobody to confide in.

**Jane: **Whatever could be so serious?

[next scene: Jane and Lizzy's bedroom]

**Lizzy: **And that is the tale.

**Jane:** It is shocking. To believe that Mr. Wickham deceived us all. And Mr. Darcy – propose to you! Oh, that poor man. He must have been so hurt.

**Lizzy: **I too feel sorry for him, but I am sure, after being rejected in such a manner, and considering the hesitation he had about my connections, I fear his feelings for me shall soon vanish, if the have not done so already. I meant to be so clever the way I always poked fun at Mr. Darcy, at everyone. I thought myself so smart, so insightful. What a fool I was. Yes, Mr. Darcy has done me one service, letting me find out of the true character of Mr. Wickham. I am sure a man of such importance has long since forgotten. Excuse me, sister. [Lizzy leaves the room and goes walking down a hallway and then downstairs, eventually stepping outside, all while singing].

_No more carefree laughter  
Silence ever after  
Walking through an empty house, tears in my eyes  
Here is where the story ends, this is goodbye_

Knowing me, knowing you  
There is nothing we can do  
Knowing me, knowing you  
We just have to face it, this time we're through  
(This time we're through, this time we're through  
This time we're through, we're really through)  
Breaking up is never easy, I know but I have to go  
(I have to go this time  
I have to go, this time I know)  
Knowing me, knowing you  
It's the best I can do

[next scene: Darcy, alone in his London home]

**Darcy: **_  
Mem'ries (mem'ries), good days (good days), bad days (bad days)  
They'll be (they'll be), with me (with me) always (always)  
In these old familiar rooms children would play  
Now there's only emptiness, nothing to say_

[next scene: Lizzy continues walking outside, passes the girls on the porch who join as a chorus]

**Girls: **  
_Knowing me, knowing you  
There is nothing we can do  
Knowing me, knowing you  
We just have to face it, this time we're through  
(This time we're through, this time we're through  
This time we're through, we're really through)  
Breaking up is never easy, I know but I have to go  
(I have to go this time  
I have to go, this time I know)  
Knowing me, knowing you  
It's the best I can do_


	17. Summer Night City

[next scene: the living room of Longbourne]

**Lydia: **But father you simply must let me go to Brighton to stay at the officers' camp! Look, Mrs. Forster, Col. Forster's wife, has invited me to stay with her! Look, here is the letter. With her there to protect me, there is simply no reason to refuse!

**Mr. Bennet: **Oh, very well Lydia. I know I shan't have a minutes peace until I consent. You may spend the summer with Mrs. Forster.

**Kitty: **But this isn't fair! Why wasn't I also invited? I'm the older one –

**Mrs. Benent: **No, it isn't fair at all. We must all of us go to Brighton then, do you not agree Mr. Bennet?

**Mr. Bennet: **All of us? Lord, no. I shall not step foot from my home. No, no. Lydia may go, and that is it.

**Mrs. Bennet: **Oh Mr. Bennet, think of your daughters! Think of their futures! Where shall they find husbands now?

**Lizzy: **Father [pulls him aside] Do you really think it wise to let Lydia go, following after officers by herself? She is already exceedingly – vulgar. She will become uncontrollable if you allow this, and will shame our family!

**Mr. Bennet: **Oh, I don't think there's much to fear. She can't get herself into too much trouble with Mrs. Forster watching. And, perhaps it is time she were to get hurt, as it were. It will lower her sense of self-importance certainly, and it will be far from the prying eyes of neighbours. No, no, Lizzy, I think this is just the right thing.

**Lydia: **I can't wait for Uncle and Aunt Gardiner to arrive so I may tell them. I cannot for the summer! I can't wait to go! [singing] _Summer night city  
Summer night city_

Waiting for the sunrise, soul dancing in the dark  
Summer night city  
Walking in the moonlight, love-making in the park  
Summer night city

In the sun I feel like sleeping  
I can't take it for too long  
My impatience slowly creeping  
Up my spine and growing strong  
I know what's waiting there for me  
Tonight I'm loose and fancy-free, aa-ahhh

When the night comes with the action  
I just know it's time to go  
Can't resist the strange attraction  
From that giant dynamo  
Lots to take and lots to give  
Time to breathe and time to live

Waiting for the sunrise, soul dancing in the dark  
Summer night city  
Walking in the moonlight, love-making in the park  
Summer night city

[next scene: Mrs. and Mr. Gardiner and Lizzy in Longbourne living room]

**Lizzy: **I am so happy to see you again.

**Mrs. Gardiner: **As we are to see you. Mr. Gardiner and I were but now talking. We are planning a tour of the Lakes this summer. We would of course delight in another companion, and as we already had Jane with us this winter, we thought –

**Lizzy: **Oh, but what delight you have given me. I could not ask for a better gift. What are men to rocks and mountains?

[Lydia enters]

**Lydia: **What a silly thing to say! Men are much better, especially when they are in scarlet coats. Poor Lizzy, spending your summer wearing yourself to look at dirt and trees, burning your skin. While I shall have all the officers I can dream of to flirt with and to dance and laugh all day with Mrs. Forster, and, and oh! [singing] _It's elusive party feeling  
Somehow something turns me on  
Some folks told me see them in it  
We don't miss them when they're gone  
Another feeling in the air  
My kind of people everywhere_

When the night comes with the action  
I just know it's time to go  
Can't resist the strange attraction  
From that giant dynamo  
And tomorrow when it's dawning  
And the first birds start to sing  
In the pale light of the morning  
Nothing's worth remembering  
It's a dream, it's out of reach  
Scattered driftwood on the beach

Waiting for the sunrise, soul dancing in the dark  
Summer night city  
Walking in the moonlight, love-making in the park  
Summer night city

Waiting for the sunrise, soul dancing in the dark  
Summer night city  
Walking in the moonlight, love-making in the park  
Summer night city

Waiting for the sunrise, soul dancing in the dark  
Summer night city  
Walking in the moonlight, love-making in the park  
Summer night city

Waiting for the sunrise, soul dancing in the dark  
Summer night city


	18. Honey, Honey

[next scene: in the Derbyshire countryside]

**Mrs. Gardiner: **Ah, Lambton, my old home. You know, we aren't far now from Pemberley – Mr. Darcy's home. Wouldn't you love to see it for yourself?

**Lizzy: **Mr. Darcy's home. Oh, I'd love to – but no. No, I couldn't possibly –

**Mr. Gardiner: **What's the matter?

**Mrs. Gardiner: **The master isn't at home, you know. He never passes the summers in the country.

**Lizzy: **Mr. Darcy won't be there? Hmm, then to Pemberley we must go.

[next scene: the Gardiners and Lizzy, walking down a hallway with Pemberley's housekeeper, Mrs. Reynolds]

**Mr. Gardiner: **What beautiful grounds those were!

**Mrs. Gardiner: **And the house, too. Truly exquisite. Do you not agree, Lizzy?

**Lizzy: **Yes. It is the most beautiful house I have ever laid eyes on.

**Mrs. Reynolds: **And this is the picture gallery. Ah, the portrait in the middle is my master.

**Mrs. Gardiner: **A handsome man. What say you, Lizzy? Is it a true likenes?

**Lizzy: **Oh, well. Yes.

**Mrs. Reynolds: **Does this young lady know my master? Lovely. A more honest, kind, and noble man I have never known. A fine master, a loving brother, a caring landlord. Not like the other young man these days – he is not silly or foolish. He is intelligent and responsible. Oh, some say he's arrogant, but that is simply jealousy of those who do not know him.

**Mrs. Gardiner: **[to Lizzy] Hardly sounds like the man you told us of.

[next scene: on the grounds of Pemberley]

**Mrs. Gardiner: **Look, it is a horse arriving.

**Lizzy: **Oh no, it cannot be! [Mr. Darcy dismounts the horse, and then is startled to see Lizzy]

**Mr. Darcy: **Miss…Miss Bennet. How do you do?

**Lizzy: **Very well, thank you. I did not expect to see you here…

**Mr. Darcy: **I have only just now returned to the country.

**Lizzy: **I'm sorry, I –

**Mr. Darcy: **And your family? Are they in health.

**Lizzy: **Yes, they are. May I introduce Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner. This is Mr. Darcy.

**Mr. Darcy: **It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. And what has brought you to this corner of England, if I may inquire?

**Lizzy: **Touring, um, with my Aunt and Uncle. I only came here for I had been informed you would not be home…

**Mr. Darcy: **It is fortunate, therefore, that your information was faulty.

**Lizzy: **Do you think so?

**Mr. Darcy: **Serendipitous. And it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner.

**Lizzy: **Yes, well I would hate to impose on you, so if you'll excuse us…

**Mr. Darcy: **So soon? I could not allow it. Stay a while longer, I can show you around the grounds.

[next scene: on the outskirts of the grounds of Pemberley]

**Mr. Darcy: **I do hope my estate has been to your liking?

**Lizzy: **Certainly. Delightful. Charming. Well…

**Mr. Gardiner: **But I do feel we must be leaving now.

**Mr. Darcy: **Very well. It has been wonderful getting to know you. Mr. Gardiner, I do hope you'll keep your promise to come by for some fishing during your stay in the country. Mrs. Gardiner, Miss Bennet, you are also welcome to return whenever you wish.

**Mrs. Gardiner: **Thank you Mr. Darcy. We are very much obliged. God bless you.

[Mr. Darcy departs]

**Mr. Gardiner: **What a kind man. I never expected such condescension.

**Mrs. Gardiner: **Yes, polite, engaging, welcoming. Nothing proud in him at all.

**Mr. Gardiner: **You've done poor Mr. Darcy a great injustice the way you described him to us, Elizabeth.

**Mrs. Gardiner: **Yes. One wonders why he would give such attentions to those he hardly knows unless perhaps, there was, something more motivating him…

**Lizzy: **He's changed, certainly. He was never like this before. He is almost a different person, or else, I simply did not perceive before how he really is…You walk much too slowly for me, I will wait for you at the carriage! [Lizzy runs up ahead by herself] But why should he change? Why should he give me such attention after how poorly I treated him. Could it be his feelings for me are unchanged? And what about me? What is it I'm feeling? [singing] _Honey, honey, how you thrill me, ah, hah, honey, honey  
Honey, honey, nearly kill me, ah, hah, honey, honey  
I'd heard about you before, I wanted to know some more  
And now I know what they mean, you're a love machine  
Oh, you make me dizzy_

Honey, honey, let me feel it, ah, ha, honey, honey  
Honey, honey, don't conceal it, ah ha, honey, honey  
The way that you kiss goodnight, the way that you hold me tight  
I feel like I wanna sing when you do your thing 

[Mr. Darcy rushes in]

**Mr. Darcy: **There was one more thing I wanted to ask you, Miss Elizabeth, before you left. Will you allow me, or do I ask too much, to introduce my sister to your acquaintance during your stay at Lambton?

**Lizzy: **It would be an honour, sir! Goodbye. [Lizzy rushes away]

**Mr. Darcy: **[singing] _I don't wanna hurt you, baby, I don't wanna see you cry  
So stay on the ground, girl, you better not get too high_

**Lizzy: **[in another part of the grounds] _But I'm gonna stick to you, boy, you'll never get rid of me  
There's no other place in this world where I rather would be_

**Mr. Darcy: **_Honey, honey, touch me, baby, ah, hah, honey, honey  
Honey, honey, hold me, baby, ah, hah, honey, honey  
You look like a movie star, but I know just who you are  
And, honey, to say the least, you're a doggone beast_

So stay on the ground, girl, you better not get too high  
There's no other place in this world where I rather would be

**Lizzy + Mr. Darcy: **_Honey, honey, how you thrill me, ah, hah, honey, honey  
Honey, honey, nearly kill me, ah, hah, honey, honey  
I'd heard about you before, I wanted to know some more  
And now I know what they mean, you're a love machine  
Oh, you make me dizzy_


	19. Waterloo

[next scene: the militia camp at Brighton. A man holds Mr. Wickham by the collar]

**Officer: **You owe me Wickham! I expect my money by tomorrow! [leaves]

**[**while Wickham is still lying on the ground, Lydia walks in]

**Lydia: **Oh George, I've been searching for you all day! Come and join the others!

**Wickham: **No, I'm afraid I'll have to be leaving camp tonight. Although I could use some… _company_. How would you like to come along?

**Lydia: **Along where? Oh Mr. Wickham, I'd follow you to the ends of the earth! But why are you leaving camp?

**Wickham: **Well, my services are no longer needed in the Militia. Haven't you heard? [singing] _My my, at waterloo napoleon did surrender  
Oh yeah, and I have met my destiny in quite a similar way  
The history book on the shelf  
Is always repeating itself_

Waterloo - I was defeated, you won the war  
Waterloo - promise to love you for ever more  
Waterloo - couldn't escape if I wanted to  
Waterloo - knowing my fate is to be with you  
Waterloo - finally facing my waterloo

My my, I tried to hold you back but you were stronger  
Oh yeah, and now it seems my only chance is giving up the fight  
And how could I ever refuse  
I feel like I win when I lose

**Lydia: **Oh, do you really mean it? You love me? I love you too Mr. Wickham. We must go. You wish to marry me! An elopement! How romantic – and think! I shall be married before all my older sisters! Won't they be jealous? I must leave a letter for Mrs. Forster to know where I've gone and pack my bags. Oh, we can't get married in England, I'm underage – we must go to Gretna Green!

**Wickham: **Yes, er, of course. But do you mind if we first stop in London?

**Lydia: **But why?

**Wickham: **Um…[singing]  
_Waterloo - I was defeated, you won the war  
Waterloo - promise to love you for ever more  
Waterloo - couldn't escape if I wanted to  
Waterloo - knowing my fate is to be with you_

And how could I ever refuse  
I feel like I win when I lose

Waterloo - I was defeated, you won the war  
Waterloo - promise to love you for ever more  
Waterloo - couldn't escape if I wanted to  
Waterloo - knowing my fate is to be with you  
Waterloo - finally facing my waterloo

**Lydia: **Oh I love you Mr. Wickham!


	20. Does Your Mother Know?

[next scene: at the inn in Brighton. Elizabeth is reading a letter]

**Lizzy: **Oh no! No, no, no! [begins to cry] Uncle, Aunt, come here! [Lizzy runs outside, and sees Mr. Darcy]

**Darcy: **Good God! What is the matter?

**Lizzy: **I need to find my Aunt and Uncle! I need to catch them, I –

**Darcy: **I will not detain you a moment, but let me, or let the servant, go after Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner. You are not well enough; you cannot go yourself.

**Lizzy: **Oh, you will discover soon enough. Everyone shall hear of it. I have just received a letter from home. My youngest sister Lydia has deserted her home – she has left! Eloped – with _Mr. Wickham! _You more than anyone must know what this means. He cannot intend to marry her – she hasn't enough money for him! She's ruined! She is, and so is all our family. What is to become of her, of all of us? Oh – and to think that I could have prevented this all! I knew the truth about him and I did not tell anyone!

**Darcy: **I am grieved indeed; grieved – shocked. And what has been done, what has been attempted, to recover her?

**Lizzy: **My father has gone to London. He has written for my uncle to join him immediately to search for her. But what hope is there now?

**Darcy: **I am afraid you have long been desiring my absence, nor have I any thing to plead in excuse of my stay, but real, though, unavailing, concern. Would to heaven that any thing could be either said or done on my part, that might offer consolation to such distress. But I will not torment you with vain wishes, which may seem purposely to ask for your thanks. This unfortunate affair will, I fear, prevent my sister's having the pleasure of seeing you at Pemberley to day. Give my regards to your relatives. [leaves]

**Lizzy: **Oh, foolish Lydia, how could you do this? And damn that Wickham! If we only knew where they were, what they were doing at this very moment!

[next scene: a boarding room in London. Mr. Wickham and Lydia dance together in the bedroom]

**Wickham: **[singing] _You're so hot, teasing me  
so you're blue  
but I can't take a chance  
on a chick like you  
it's something I couldn't do  
there's that look in your eyes  
I can read in your face  
that your feelings  
are driving you wild  
ah, but girl you're only a child_

Well I can dance with you honey  
if you think it's funny  
but does your mother know  
that you're out  
and I can chat with you baby  
flirt a little maybe  
but does your mother know  
that you're out  
take it easy  
better slow down girl  
that's no way to go  
does your mother know  
take it easy  
try to cool it girl  
take it nice and slow  
does your mother know

[next scene: in a carriage carrying Lizzy and the Gardiners]

**Mrs. Gardiner: **This is most shocking! To think Mr. Wickham capable of such indiscretion. And Lydia to act so thoughtlessly!

**Mr. Gardiner: **I will do everything in my power to find your sister, niece.

**Lizzy: [**to herself] As though all the rest of the troubles were not enough. I could see how Mr. Darcy looked at me after I told this to him. He left as soon as he could. If there was any admiration left in him, it is gone now. Already the vulgarity of my relations was repulsive to him. But Mr. Darcy of Pemberley could never marry a lady with such a disgrace for a sister. I have lost all hope of having him.

[next scene: a crowded London street. Mr. Wickham walks with arms linked to Lydia. Suddenly, up ahead Wickham sees Mr. Darcy coming towards them. Wickham suddenly turns around and pulls Lydia with him. Wickham urges the confused Lydia along]

**Wickham: **_I can see what you want  
but you seem pretty young  
to be searching for that kind of fun  
so maybe I'm not the one  
now you're so cute  
I like your style  
and I know what you mean  
when you give me  
a flash of that smile  
but girl you're only a child_

Well I can dance with you honey  
if you think it's funny  
but does your mother know  
that you're out  
and I can chat with you baby  
flirt a little maybe  
but does your mother know  
that you're out  
take it easy  
better slow down girl  
that's no way to go  
does your mother know  
take it easy  
try to cool it girl  
take it nice and slow  
does your mother know


	21. Thank You For The Music

[next scene: Longbourn]

**Mrs. Bennet: **Oh what shall become of us! Lydia run away! None of you shall ever get married! Oh, and you Mr. Bennet! Coming back home when you should be in London searching to challenge that Mr. Wickham to a duel! Oh, my nerves cannot handle this!

[enter Jane]

**Jane: **This letter has just arrived from Uncle Gardiner.

**Lizzy: **Let me see, what does it say. [takes the letter] Oh, our Uncle has found Lydia and Wickham. They were living together – _unmarried. _Oh my. But, oh, he says that the union shall be made forthrightly, as long as Papa agrees to…_a hundred pound per annum._

**Jane: **So little?

**Lizzy: **I do not believe for a second Mr. Wickham would agree to marry Lydia for such a small sum!

**Jane: **He must really love her then.

**Mr. Bennet: **Bah. This is the work of my brother. He has paid Wickham to marry Lydia, to save our family's honour, or what is left of it. And not cheaply, either. He would be a fool to take Lydia for less than 10,000 pounds. How shall I ever repay him?

**Lizzy: **Poor Lydia, married to Mr. Wickham! How horrible!

**Mrs. Bennet: **How wonderful! God has been merciful. I will soon have a married daughter! Think of it! And the youngest one of all, married first! Oh, my precious Lydia. Mr. Bennet, we must have them come here to celebrate, just as soon as they are married.

**Mr. Bennet: **Absolutely not! How dare you even consider it. Allow that foolhardy girl back under my roof when she has so selfishly vexed her family? Allow the villain who stole her away to use her indecently to dine at my table. I shall never forgive either of them. I will pay his allowance for the sake of my other daughters, but as long as they live I shall have no contact with them.

**Mrs. Bennet: **How could you, how could you not rejoice at the marriage of your youngest daughter!

**Jane: **Perhaps you should reconsider, Papa. It is the Christian thing to do. Think of her, she is probably wracked with guilt and shame, desperate for her father's forgiveness.

[next scene: Longbourne parlour, a few days later. The family sits together with Mr. and Mrs. Wickham]

**Lydia: **Mrs. Wickham? Oh, isn't it droll? [laughs] Now I have the priority, I enter the room first, and my elder sisters must walk behind me. Oh, I am so happy. I only wish the rest of you can one day find a husband as good as mine.

[Mr. Bennet, Lizzy and Jane exchange looks. Mrs. Bennet smiles widely]

**Mrs. Bennet: **Oh my Lydia. How well you have done your family. Finding a nice husband to take care of you. This is the happiest day of my life. How can I thank you, Lydia, for the joy you've given me? We need music! Mary, on the piano, go now.

**Mr. Bennet: **Oh for heaven's sake…

[Mrs. Bennet flips through a book of sheet music and opens a page and sets it at the piano stand. Mary awkwardly approaches the piano]

**Mrs. Bennet: **Play that one dear. Er, don't sing, please. I will accompany you. [Mary starts singing, and Mrs. Bennet sings] _I'm nothing special, in fact I'm a bit of a bore  
If I tell a joke, you've probably heard it before  
But I have a talent, a wonderful thing  
'cause everyone listens when I start to sing  
I'm so grateful and proud  
All I want is to sing it out loud_

So I say  
Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing  
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing  
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty  
What would life be?  
Without a song or a dance what are we?  
So I say thank you for the music  
For giving it to me

Mother says I was a dancer before I could walk  
She says I began to sing long before I could talk  
And I've often wondered, how did it all start?  
Who found out that nothing can capture a heart  
Like a melody can?  
Well, whoever it was, I'm a fan

[Mr. Bennet abruptly gets out of chair and leaves the room. Lydia, not noticing, joins in with her mother]

**Lydia: **  
So I say  
Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing  
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing  
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty  
What would life be?  
Without a song or a dance what are we?  
So I say thank you for the music  
For giving it to me

I've been so lucky, I am the girl with golden hair  
I wanna sing it out to everybody  
What a joy, what a life, what a chance!

**Mrs. Bennet + Lydia: **So I say  
Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing  
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing  
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty  
What would life be?  
Without a song or a dance what are we?  
So I say thank you for the music  
For giving it to me


	22. One Of Us

[next scene: Longbourne. Jane and Lizzy are sitting down]

**Lizzy: **It's disgraceful how she carries on, bragging about her marriage as if it were the most natural thing in the world. She has no regard for the torment she has caused us.

**Jane: **Lizzy, you must try to be more understanding.

**Lizzy: **My understanding is pushed to the limits. But, for your sake, I shall change the subject. All of this talk of weddings, indeed, has set me to thinking often of Mr. Darcy. Odd that I should think of him. I do not know why I do. And I know he could never want me, now that I am sister to the man he hates most in this world. Jane, do you ever think about – no, I shouldn't.

**Jane: **It's fine. You were going to speak of Bingley, weren't you? And, yes, I must admit I do. I have tried hiding it for so long, sometimes I forget, and then it all comes back. How silly of me. I should forget him. I should open my heart and look for another. I just wish he was here, though! There's so much I wish I could say. [sighs. Starts singing]  
_They passed me by, all of those great romances  
You were, I felt, robbing me of my rightful chances  
My picture clear, everything seemed so easy  
And so I dealt you the blow  
One of us had to go  
Now it's different, I want you to know_

One of us is crying  
One of us is lying  
In her lonely bed  
Staring at the ceiling  
Wishing she was somewhere else instead  
One of us is lonely  
One of us is only  
Waiting for a call  
Sorry for herself, feeling stupid feeling small  
Wishing she had never left at all

[next scene: Lizzy and Jane with Lydia]

**Lydia: **Oh, I was so nervous that Uncle would not arrive in time at the church to give me away, can you imagine.

[frustrated, Lizzy and Jane look at each other but do not answer]

**Lydia: **Though I suppose the wedding could still have gone on. Mr. Darcy was there, he could have given me away.

**Lizzy: **Wait, wait! What did you just say? Mr. Darcy…was at your wedding?

**Lydia: **Oh no, I wasn't supposed to tell you that. It was a secret. Wickham made me promise.

**Lizzy: **But you must tell me, Lydia! What was Mr. Darcy doing at your wedding.

**Lydia: **No, no. I shouldn't have told you that. I can't say anymore. George will be mad at me! Bye**. [**leaves]

**Lizzy: **I must know the meaning of this. I will write to my Aunt. She must tell me.

[next scene: Lizzy reading a letter in her room]

**Lizzy: **[reading aloud] "My dear Lizzy, I will answer you, though I was sworn to secrecy, only because I believe you have some particular interest in the young man involved. Mr. Darcy was at the wedding because he arranged everything. He came to us in London, tracked down where Mr. Wickham was staying, and he paid Wickham to marry Lydia. He said he did it because he felt responsible for not making Mr. Wickham's character generally known. However, I believe, as I imagine you do, that there were deeper feelings motivating him." … Can this be? Mr. Darcy went to all that trouble to help my family? Humiliating himself into tracking through the backalleys of London, paying for the living of a man he loathes, and for what? For me? Then this must mean, there is a hope then, he still … No, no. He still cannot intend to marry me. I shall never see him again, and yet…oh, he has saved our family. And I can never thank him. Why did I not accept him when I had the chance, if I'd only known what a man he was! [singing]  
_I saw myself as a concealed attraction  
I felt you kept me away from the heat and the action  
Just like a child, stubborn and misconceiving  
That's how I started the show  
One of us had to go  
Now I've changed and I want you to know_

One of us is crying  
One of us is lying  
In her lonely bed  
Staring at the ceiling  
Wishing she was somewhere else instead  
One of us is lonely  
One of us is only  
Waiting for a call  
Sorry for herself, feeling stupid feeling small  
Wishing she had never left at all  
Never left at all

[next scene: Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy together in a carriage riding down a street in London. As they go, the people on the street sing as a chorus]

**Crowd: **  
_  
Staring at the ceiling  
Wishing she was somewhere else instead  
One of us is lonely  
One of us is only  
Waiting for a call_


	23. I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do

[next scene: Longbourn. Lizzy and Jane alone in the parlour]

**Lizzy: **I am glad things of quieted down here since Lydia and Wickham left. Three years without their company is a good start.

[Mrs. Bennet bursts into the room, panting]

**Mrs. Bennet: **I have received extraordinary news from my sister while I was in Meryton! The housekeeper at Netherfield has been ordered to have things arranged for one occupant by the end of the week! Do you see? Mr. Bingley is returning to Hertfordshire! I must tell Mr. Bennet this joyous news! [runs out the room]

**Jane: **You needn't look at me like that, Elizabeth. I assure you, I am quite unbothered by this announcement. I only hope that I will have to see as little of him as possible. Not that I fear myself, my feelings are quite under control. But I fear what other people might say. As for me, I care nothing for the man any longer. Excuse me. [exits]

[next scene, another day]

**Kitty: **Come, come. Mr. Bingley is at the door.

**Mrs. Bennet: **Already? Oh, then this is better then I could have dreamed. I was to wait a week before I dared invite him to supper – and he comes to call on his own!

**Kitty: **There's another man with him, I saw in the window. That tall, proud man. Mr. what's his name.

**Mrs. Bennet: **Oh, that Mr. Darcy. Well, another friend of Bingley's is welcome here, though I will hate that Darcy forever!

[Lizzy looks very shocked and grabs Jane's hand. Suddenly, Bingley and Darcy enter with Mr. Bennet. Bingley looks nervously towards Jane, who tries to sit perfectly still and show no emotion. Lizzy glances up and sees Mr. Darcy looking at her. They both look away sharply]

[next scene: some time later, at the door of Longbourn]

**Mrs. Bennet: **It was lovely having you Mr. Bingley. I was afraid you would never return. Now, you are much in my debt. You promised me last November that you would come dine at my house. Yes, I remember. So you _must _return in a few days time for an evening with us. It will be our honour having you. Oh, and I guess you can bring Mr. Darcy along if you'd like.

**Mr. Bingley: **Yes, it would be my pleasure, of course. Goodbye. [Mr. Darcy nods and exits and with Mr. Bingley. Jane hurriedly goes upstairs]

**Lizzy [**aside]: I can see from how they look at each other that Bingley and Jane are as much in love as ever. But Mr. Darcy I cannot make out. He barely spoke two words the entire visit. After how much I'd seen him change in Pemberely, what could this mean? Why did he return if he seems so miserable about it? I wish to never see him again!

[next scene. Lizzy and Jane are getting dressed. Mrs. Bennet rushes in]

**Mrs. Bennet: **Make haste, make haste! Mr. Bingley is downstairs! He could not wait to be invited for supper! He has come to see us in the morning! How wonderful! Quickly, Jane, finish your hair, put on your dress. Sarah, dress her. Nevermind Lizzy. Hurry!

**Lizzy: **Is Mr. Darcy with him?

**Mrs. Bennet: **No, he is quite alone. Mr. Darcy has gone back to London. But there's no time to chat. Where's your sash, Jane? [exits hurriedly]

**Jane: **Promise me, Lizzy. Do not leave me alone with Mr. Bingley. That will be mama's intent. I cannot bear to be left alone with him.

[next scene: the family sits in the parlour]

**Mr. Bennet: **Well, it has been a pleasure, but I shall now retire to my library.

**Mary: **Yes, and I need to practice on the piano. [Mary and Mr. Bennet exit]

**Mrs. Bennet: **My, my. It seems as though are now almost the only people in the room. [winks at Lizzy and Kitty. Lizzy rolls her eyes and Kitty looks on cluelessly]

**Kitty: **Why are you winking at me, mama?

**Mrs. Bennet: **I am not. But, oh, may I speak with you in the other room, Kitty? You too, Lizzy?

**Lizzy**: [whispers in Jane's ear] I shall return as soon as I can. [Mrs. Bennet, Kitty, and Lizzy go into the hallway. Lizzy sits down and picks up a book and waits for Mrs. Bennet and Kitty to go upstairs. She then gets up and opens the parlour door. She sees Mr. Bingley holding Jane's hand, both of them staring intently at each other. Surprised, she shuts the door before they notice her]

**Jane: **So, you really never knew that I was in London at the same as you?

**Mr. Bingley: **This is the first of my hearing it, but for all the rest I apologize. I should never have left without a word, I should have answered your letters, I – I am cannot express how sorry I am. What do you say to my proposal?

**Jane: **Only this. [singing_] Love me or leave me, make your choice but believe me  
I love you  
I do, I do, I do, I do, I do  
I can't conceal it, don't you see, can't you feel it  
Don't you too  
I do, I do, I do, I do, I do_

Oh, I've been dreaming through my lonely past  
Now I just made it, I found you at last

[at this, Mr. Bingley takes Jane's hands into his own, and after looking into each other's eyes, begin waltzing around the room. Jane continues]

_So come on, now let's try it, I love you, can't deny it  
'Cos it's true  
I do, I do, I do, I do, I do_

Oh, no hard feelings between you and me  
If we can't make it, but just wait and see

So come on now, let's try it, I love you, can't deny it  
'Cos it's true  
I do, I do, I do, I do, I do  
So love me or leave me, make your choice but believe me  
I love you  
I do, I do, I do, I do, I do  
I can't conceal it, don't you see, can't you feel it  
Don't you too  
I do, I do, I do, I do, I do

[at this, Bingley dips Jane back and kisses her.]

**Bingley: **Now, there is just the matter of asking your father's permission.

**Jane:** Oh, you shall have that. I just wonder what my mother's reaction will be.

[next scene: in the parlour later that day. The whole family looks happy, and Mrs. Bennet most of all]

**Mrs. Bennet: **You, marry Mr. Bingley? Finally! Oh Jane, you are my dearest daughter, you, oh, oh! [the music swells as Mrs. Bennet launches into a reprise of "Dancing Queen"]  
_You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen  
Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine  
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life  
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen_

You're a teaser, you turn 'em on  
Leave them burning and then you're gone  
Looking out for another, anyone will do  
You're in the mood for a dance  
And when you get the chance...

You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen  
Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine  
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life  
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen 


	24. When All Is Said And Done

[next scene: In Meryton, Jane and Bingley walk down the street arm in arm. Lizzy walks behind them, smiles, and then looks forlorn]

**Lizzy: **I am glad for you sister. And I guess that is all the happiness I should hope to have.

[as Jane and Bingley, and Lizzy behind them, walk through the streets, the townspeople form a chorus]

**Crowd: **[singing] _Here's to us one more toast and then we'll pay the bill  
Deep inside both of us can feel the autumn chill  
Birds of passage, you and me  
We fly instinctively  
When the summer's over and the dark clouds hide the sun  
Neither you nor I'm to blame when all is said and done_

In our lives we have walked some strange and lonely treks  
Slightly worn but dignified and not too old for sex  
We're still striving for the sky  
No taste for humble pie  
Thanks for all your generous love and thanks for all the fun  
Neither you nor I'm to blame when all is said and done

[as Jane, Bingley and Lizzy walk off stage, the scene switches to London, where Mr. Darcy walks on, seamlessly carrying on the song to the London crowd]

**Crowd: **_  
It's so strange when you're down and lying on the floor  
How you rise, shake your head, get up and ask for more  
Clear-headed and open-eyed  
With nothing left untried  
Standing calmly at the crossroads, no desire to run  
There's no hurry any more when all is said and done_

Standing calmly at the crossroads, no desire to run  
There's no hurry any more when all is said and done

[next scene: Longbourn. Lizzy, Jane and Mr. Bennet are sitting down when a servant enters]

**Servant: **Lady Catherine DeBourgh [Lady Catherine enters]

**Lady Catherine: **I suppose that gentleman is your father. Miss Bennet, I notice there is a prettyish kind of wilderness on the side of your rather small lawn. I would like to take a turn there if you'd accompany me. [glancing unsurely at her family, Lizzy leaves with Lady Catherine into the garden] You can be at no loss to know why I am here.

**Lizzy: **Indeed, I have no idea as to why you are here.

**Lady Catherine: **I have heard a most alarming report that my nephew, Mr. Darcy, has proposed to you. I know it is impossible, and I need you to contradict it assuredly.

**Lizzy: **I cannot imagine how you got such a report.

**Lady Catherine: **I insist on being satisfied. Has my nephew made you an offer of marriage?

**Lizzy: **If he had, you would be the last person in the world I would confess it to.

**Lady Catherine: **This match, which you have the presumption to inspire to, may never happen. Mr. Darcy is engaged to my daughter.

**Lizzy: **If there is no other objection, then that his mother and aunt planned his marriage, then there would be nothing stopping me from marrying Mr. Darcy. He made no promise, so he is not bound by honour or duty, and free to choose who to marry himself.

**Lady Catherine: **Obstinate, headstrong girl! I am ashamed of you! Is this how you repay me, after all the attention I gave you last spring? I came here determined to carry out my purpose. I do not submit to any person's whims. I have not been in the habit of brooking disappointment.

**Lizzy: **Mr. Darcy is a gentleman, I am a gentleman's daughter. What objection could you have for our union?

**Lady Catherine: **Tell me once and for all, are you engaged to him?

**Lizzy: **I am not. Though I cannot promise I shall never be engaged to him.

**Lady Catherine: **My nephew, marry the likes of you? I am no stranger to the particulars of your sister's infamous elopement. A patched-up marriage, at the expense of your father and uncle. Is such a girl to be my nephew's sister? Is her husband, the son of his late father's steward, to be his brother? Heaven and earth! Of what are you thinking? Are the shades of Pemberley to be thus polluted?

**Lizzy: **Your Ladyship, I have nothing further to say. You know my sentiments.

**Lady Catherine: **So you refuse to oblige me? Refuse to obey the claims of duty, honour and gratitude! You are determined to ruin the opinion of all his friends, and make him the contempt of the world.

**Lizzy: **Neither duty, honour, nor gratitude have any possible claim on me in the present instance. No principle would be violated by my marriage to Mr. Darcy. The resentment of his family would not give me one moment's concern – and the world in general would have too much sense to join in the scorn.

**Lady Catherine: **Your ambition will never be gratified. I will carry my point. I take no leave of you. I send no compliments to your family. You deserve no such attention. I am most seriously displeased. [exits]

[frustrated, Lizzy walks back to the house, fists clenched, tears forming in her eyes. Mr. Bennet and Jane are waiting at the door, puzzled]

**Mr. Bennet: **What did Lady Catherine want?

**Jane: **What happened Lizzy?

[Mr. Bennet and Jane both embrace Lizzy, and she hugs them back. The music swells and the three start a reprise of "Chiquitita"]

**Lizzy + Jane + Mr. Bennet: **  
_So the walls came tumbling down  
And your love's a blown out candle  
All is gone and it seems too hard to handle  
Chiquitita, tell me the truth  
There is no way you can deny it  
I see that you're oh so sad, so quiet_

Chiquitita, you and I know  
How the heartaches come and they go  
And the scars they're leaving  
You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end  
You will have no time for grieving

Chiquitita, you and I cry  
And the sun is still in the sky and shining above you  
Let me hear you sing once more like you did before  
Sing a new song, Chiquitita  
Try once more like you did before  
Sing a new song, Chiquitita

Try once more like you did before  
Sing a new song, Chiquitita


	25. Lay All Your Love On Me

[next scene: Longbourn. Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy arrive at the door. Mrs. Bennet answers]

**Mrs. Bennet: **Oh, Mr. Bingley! You have returned from London at last. Oh – and you've brought your friend along again.

**Mr. Bingley: **It's such a lovely day out. I wondered if we could all go out for a walk.

**Mrs. Bennet: **Me, walk? No, no. It is too disagreeable for my nerves. But, er, of course Jane would love to go along with you. Lizzy, Kitty, Mary, do go along [to the girls only] and keep him away from Jane and Bingley!

**Mary: **I have far too much studying to do.

[next scene: in a country road. Jane and Bingley walk far ahead, arm in arm. Behind them are Kitty, Lizzy and Mr. Darcy, all awkwardly silent]

**Kitty: **Lucas Lodge is just down the path from here. I'm going to go visit Maria. Don't wait for me, I'll meet you back home. [leaves]

**Lizzy: **I hope I do not shock you by saying I was hoping to be left alone with you. I am a selfish creature, and I must satisfy my own emotions, even if it brings embarrassment to you. I can no longer conceal the gratitude I feel to you for what you have done for our family.

**Darcy: **I did not think Mrs. Gardiner so little to be trusted.

**Lizzy: **Do not blame my aunt. Lydia's thoughtlessness first betrayed the secret to me, and then I would not rest until I knew the whole truth. But again, I think you for the trouble you went through, I can only imagine the mortification you suffered. I thank you for all my family, since they do not know.

**Darcy: **You are too generous to trifle with me. If you feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. _My _affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me on this subject for ever.

**Lizzy: **I, that is, I will have you to understand – my sentiments have undergone so material a change, since the period to which you allude, that it makes me receive with gratitude and pleasure, your present assurances.

**Darcy: **Elizabeth, you are the most important person in my heart – besides perhaps my sister.

**Lizzy: **But what brought you back here, now?

**Darcy: **You are indebted for our present good understanding to the efforts of my aunt, who called on me in her return through London, and there related her journey to Longbourn, its motive, and the substance of her conversation with you; dwelling emphatically on every one of your expressions, which, in my Aunt's apprehension, peculiarly denoted your perverseness and assurance, in the belief that such a relation must assis her endeavours to obtain that promise from me, which you had refused to give. But, unluckily for my Aunt, its effect was exactly contrariwise. I knew enough of your disposition to be certain, that, had you been absolutely, irrevocably decided against me, you would have acknowledged it to Lady Catherine, frankly and openly.

**Lizzy: **Yes, you know enough about my frankness to believe me capable of that. After abusing you so much to your face, I could have no scruples doing so to your relations.

**Darcy: **What did you say of me, that I did not deserve? For, though your accusations were ill-founded, formed on mistaken premises, my behaviour to you at the time, had merited the severest reproof. It was unpardonable. I cannot think of it without abhorrence.

**Lizzy: **Let's not talk about that. Neither of our conduct was irreproachable. But since then we have both, I hope, improved in civility.

**Darcy: **I cannot be so easily reconciled to myself. The recollection of what I then said, of my conduct, my manners, my expressions during the whole of it, is now, and has been many months, inexpressibly painful to me. Your reproof, so well applied, I shall never forget: "had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner." Those were your words. You know not, you can scarcely conceive, how they have tortured me; - though it was some time, I confess, before I was reasonable enough to allow their justice.'

**Lizzy: **I never expected they would make so strong an impression.

**Darcy: **I can easily believe it. You thought me then devoid of every proper feeling, I am sure you did. The turn of your countenance I shall never forget, as you said that I could not have addressed you in any possible way that would induce you to accept me.

**Lizzy: **Oh, don't remind me what I said back then. These recollections will not do at all. I am ashamed to think of it.

**Darcy: **Was it my letter? Did you, on reading it, give any credit to its contents?

**Lizzy: **My former prejudices were removed – but only gradually.

**Darcy: **I hope you have destroyed the letter. There was one part especially, the opening of it, which I should dread your having the power of reading again. I can remember some expressions which might justly make you hate me.

**Lizzy: **I will burn it, if you think it will preserve my regard for you. But, though we both know my opinions are not unalterable, I hope you do not think they can be changed as easily as that.

**Darcy: **I believed myself perfectly calm and cool, but I am since convinced that it was written in a dreadful bitterness of spirit.

**Lizzy: **Maybe it began in bitterness, but its end has been pure charity. Think no more of the letter. The opinion of the man who wrote it and the woman who received it have changed so much. You must take my philosophy. Remember only so much of the past as gives you pleasure.

**Darcy: **I cannot give you credit for any philosophy of the kind. _Your_ retrospections must be so totally void of reproach, that the contentment arising from them is not of philosophy, but, what is much better, of innocence. But with _me_, it is not so. Painful recollections will intrude which cannot, which ought not, to be repelled. I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not in principle. As a child I was taught what was _right_, but I was not taught to correct my temper. I was given good principles, but left to follow them in pride and conceit. Unfortunately an only son (for many years an only _child_), I was spoilt by my parents, who, though good themselves (my father, particularly, all that was benevolent and amiable), allowed, encouraged, almost taught me to be selfish and overbearing; to care for none beyond my own family circle; to think meanly of all the rest of the world; to _wish_ at least to think meanly of their sense and worth compared with my own. Such I was, from eight to eight and twenty; and such I might still have been but for you, dearest, loveliest Elizabeth! What do I not owe you! You taught me a lesson, hard indeed at first, but most advantageous. By you, I was properly humbled. I came to you without a doubt of my reception. You shewed me how insufficient were all my pretensions to please a woman worthy of being pleased.

**[**Lizzy and Darcy stop and look into each other's eyes, and both smile.]

**Darcy: **[singing] _I wasn't jealous before we met_

**Lizzy: **_Now every woman I see is a potential threat_

**Darcy: **_And I'm possessive, it isn't nice_

**Lizzy: **_You've heard me saying that smoking was my only vice_

**Darcy: **_But now it isn't true_

**Lizzy: **_Now everything is new_

**Darcy**_: And all I've learned has overturned_

**Lizzy**_: I beg of you_

**Darcy**: _Don't go wasting your emotion_

**Lizzy**_: Lay all your love on me_

**Darcy**: _It was like shooting a sitting duck  
A little small talk, a smile and baby I was stuck_

**Lizzy**: _I still don't know what you've done with me  
A grown-up woman should never fall so easily_

**Darcy**: _I feel a kind of fear  
When I don't have you near_

_Unsatisfied, I skip my pride  
_

**Lizzy**: _I beg you dear_

**Lizzy + Darcy:  
**_Don't go wasting your emotion  
Lay all your love on me  
Don't go sharing your devotion  
Lay all your love on me_

[Lizzy takes Darcy's hand, and running, leads him down the side of a hill. In the grassy valley below, Darcy wraps his arms around her, and twirls her around in the air]

**Darcy**: _I've had a few little love affairs  
They didn't last very long and they've been pretty scarce  
I used to think that was sensible_

**Lizzy**: _It makes the truth even more incomprehensible  
'Cause everything is new  
And everything is you_

**Darcy**:  
_And all I've learned has overturned  
What can I do_

**Lizzy + Darcy:  
**_Don't go wasting your emotion  
Lay all your love on me  
Don't go sharing your devotion  
Lay all your love on me_

[Lizzy and Darcy kiss]

[next scene: Lizzy and Darcy, now on the way back, are holding hands]

**Lizzy: **How did you ever fall in love with me? I can understand you going along charmingly, once it started, but how did you ever let it begin?

**Darcy: **I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I _had_ begun.

**Lizzy: **My beauty you had early withstood, and as for my manners, they were uncivil at best. I never spoke but to hurt you. Be sincere, did you admire me for my impertinence?

**Darcy: **For the liveliness of your mind, I did.

**Lizzy: **Well, you may as well call it impertinence. It was little else. The fact is, you were sick of civility, of deference, of officious attention. You were disgusted with the women who were always speaking, and looking, and thinking for your approbation alone. I roused and interested you, because I was so unlike them. Had you not been really amiable, you would have hated me for it. But despite the pains you took to disguise it, your feelings were always noble and just. In your heart, you thoroughly despised the people who so assiduously courted you. There – I have saved you the trouble of accounting for it. And all things considered, I think it perfectly reasonable. To be sure, you knew no actual good of me – but nobody thinks of those things when they fall in love.

**[**Darcy kisses her]

**Lizzy: **Now we must go home. We shall have quite the shocking announcement. The surprise to my mother's nerves may just been intolerable. But I think she shall be quite pleased. Oh yes, I shall be the star of my family tonight. [the music swells and she sings a reprise of "Super Trouper"] _Facing twenty thousand of your friends  
How can anyone be so lonely?  
Part of a success that never ends  
Still I'm thinkin' about you only  
(Still I'm thinkin' about you only)_

There are moments when I think I'm going crazy  
(Think I'm going crazy)  
And it's gonna be alright  
(You'll soon be changing everything)  
Everything will be so different  
When I'm on the stage tonight

Tonight the  
Super Trouper lights are gonna find me  
Shinin' like the sun  
(Su-p-per Trou-p-per)  
Smilin', havin' fun  
(Su-p-per Trou-p-per)  
Feeling like a number one

Tonight the  
Super Trouper beams are gonna blind me  
But I won't feel blue  
(Su-p-per Trou-p-per)  
Like I always do  
(Su-p-per Trou-p-per)  
'Cause somewhere in the crowd there's you

So I'll be there when you arrive  
The sight of you will prove to me, I'm still alive  
And when you take me in your arms and hold me tight  
I know it's gonna mean so much tonight

[scene switches to a church, Lizzy and Darcy, and behind them Jane and Bingley, exit, just having gotten married. The excited wedding guests follow them outside, singing]

**Crowd: **  
_Tonight the  
Super Trouper lights are gonna find me  
Shinin' like the sun  
(Su-p-per Trou-p-per)  
Smilin', havin' fun  
(Su-p-per Trou-p-per)  
Feeling like a number one_

Tonight the  
Super Trouper beams are gonna blind me  
But I won't feel blue  
(Su-p-per Trou-p-per)  
Like I always do  
(Su-p-per Trou-p-per)  
'Cause somewhere in the crowd there's you

Super Trouper lights are gonna find me  
Shinin' like the sun  
(Su-p-per Trou-p-per)  
Smilin', havin' fun  
(Su-p-per Trou-p-per)  
Feeling like a number one

Super Trouper beams are gonna blind me  
But I won't feel blue  
(Su-p-per Trou-p-per)  
Like I always do  
(Su-p-per Trou-p-per)


	26. Under Attack

[previous scene continues. As everyone is gathered celebrating outside of the church, suddenly Lady Catherine, along with Anne, arrive in a carriage. As she steps out, everyone in stunned silent. Then suddenly, Jane begins singing]

**Bingley: **_Don't know how to take it  
don't know where to go  
my resistance running low_

**Miss Bingley: **_and every day the  
hold is getting tighter_

**Jane: **_and it troubles me so  
(you know that I'm nobody's fool)  
I'm nobody's fool_

**Col. Fitzwilliam:  
**_and yet it's clear to me  
I don't have a strategy_

**Mr. Hurst**: _it's just like taking candy  
from a baby_

**Mrs. Hurst:** _and I think I must be_

Under attack

**Collins:  
**_I'm being taken  
about to crack  
defences breaking_

**Miss Darcy:** _won't somebody  
please have a heart_

**Mr. Bennet:** _come and rescue me now  
'cause I'm falling apart  
under attack_

**Mrs. Bennet:** _I'm taking cover  
he's on my track  
my chasing lover_

**Mrs. Gardiner:** _thinking nothing can  
stop him now_

**Maria Lucas: **_should I want to  
I'm not sure I_

**Mary:** _would know how_

[everyone stops and looks at Lady Catherine. Suddenly, she walks over to Darcy and Elizabeth, smiles, and hugs them both. Everyone cheers, and together sway their hands in the air as they keep singing]

**Mary:** _This is getting crazy_

**Kitty**_**:**__ I should tell him so  
really let my anger show_

**Mrs. Philips:**  
_persuade him that the  
answer to his questions_

**Charlotte:** _is a definite no  
(I'm kind of flattered I suppose)  
guess I'm kind of flattered_

**Mr. Gardiner**: _but I'm scared as well  
something like a magic spell_

**Anne:** _I hardly dare to think  
of what could happen,_

**Lady Catherine:** _where I'd be if I fell_

Under attack

**Wickham:** _I'm being taken  
about to crack_

**Lydia:** _defences breaking  
won't somebody  
please have a heart_

**Sir William Lucas:** _come and rescue me now  
'cause I'm falling apart_

**Lizzy:** _under attack  
I'm taking cover  
he's on my track_

**Darcy:** _my chasing lover  
thinking nothing can  
stop him now_

[the entire cast joins hands in a line and sing together]

**Cast:** _should I want to  
I'm not sure I  
would know how_

[cast bows and exits stage]

_**THE END**_


End file.
